I take my last bite, closing my eyes to savour it, and admit to myself that he’s right. The flavours are balanced, fresh, and summery. It’s the perfect dish for Gianni to add to his menu. “It turned out even better than I expected. Thank you for experimenting with me.”
When I open my eyes, my gaze lands on his face and the soft smile I see there. A smile that throws me back in time to the road trip we took the summer between our first and second year ofuniversity. He would smile at me back then in a way that said he couldn’t believe he was there with me. Like just sharing a hotel bed in a small town in Montana was a dream come true, and I was the center of his universe. We were two carefree nineteen-year-olds, off on a grand adventure, fools in love thinking nothing could break us.
It would be so easy to fall back in love with him.
That thought hits me like a ton of bricks, and suddenly the room feels too warm, like the walls are closing in on me. I can’t fall in love with Kai again, and I can’t let him fall in love with me. I don’t think I could survive breaking his heart once more.
I stand abruptly and carry my dishes into the kitchen, needing some space from the feelings swarming me like a horde of angry wasps.
I know he follows me. So I’m not surprised when his dishes are placed on the counter next to me and his hands land on my hips.
“Isabelle,” he murmurs, gently urging me to turn around. I let him move me. Well, that’s a stretch. I wouldn’t be able to stop him if he forced me, but I know he wouldn’t do that. “Talk to me, baby.”
I drag my gaze upward to meet his. And all I see is warmth, affection, and concern.
“Sorry. I just got overwhelmed.”
Kai nods slowly. “By what?”
I gesture around us. “By all of it. Us. Together. Being here, cooking with you, thinking about what’s coming next. It just caught up to me.”
“Nothing has to come next, Iz. Nothing at all, unless we both want it. We’re friends, right?”
I nod, unable to formulate a reply, to put my true feelings into words that would make sense. As terrified as I am of getting involved with him, of possibly hurting him again, I can’t denythe pull I feel toward him. I’ve never wanted someone like I want Kai.
And he’s here, offering me more. He’s willing to take the risk.
“Well, as your friend, believe me when I say I’d be just fine if our evening ended with us watching TV, or hell, even if you wanted to leave right now. You’re in charge.” He makes his point by removing his hands from my hips and stepping back.
We stare at each other for the span of several breaths. He’s put everything in my hands. I have to decide our way forward. I have to choose if we give into temptation again or redraw the lines between us to protect ourselves from possible pain in the future.
Once again, I feel incredibly selfish. That’s the only reason I can think of why I’m unable to resist him, even knowing this can’t end happily ever after.
“I don’t want to leave.”
Chapter twenty-three
Isabelle
Wordlessly, Kai lifts me up to sit on the counter. Stepping in between my legs, he cradles my face in his hands. “Good. I don’t want you to leave either.”
The added implication behind that phrase is clear in his voice, and it echoes the quiet thought in my head.
I thread my arms around his neck, tugging him closer. “Kiss me.”
He doesn’t hesitate, laying his lips on mine in a possessive, consuming kiss. My eyes close and I give myself over to the sensations. I can lose myself in his embrace. It’s safe to let go.
Hands go to the hem of my shirt and I lift my arms without being asked. Slowly, he peels it off, dipping his head to press kisses to every bit of skin that is bared. When he returns to my face, he takes his time, kissing along my jaw, my cheek, my forehead before finally covering my lips again with a barely restrained groan.
I return the favour, but much less seductively, fumbling with his shirt, desperate to have him naked. I can feel his lips turning up against mine as he takes over, stripping his shirt off, and then pushing his shorts down, leaving him in just his underwear. His hands land on either side of me as he pushes me backward with his kiss, so firmly I have to lean back on my elbows.
Lips trail back down my neck and chest, pausing to tease my breasts before continuing south. His tongue circles my belly button, making me squirm. He makes quick work of removing my pants, with me being oh so helpful and lifting my hips so he can strip me bare.
“That’s better,” he rumbles against the skin of my inner thigh. His hands start squeezing, massaging my legs. When he travels up over my hips, something dark and uncomfortable twists inside of me. I feel stripped bare in more ways than one. It might not be our first time together since reuniting, but there’s more meaning to it this time, no matter how much we might want to deny that.
I start to cover my stomach in an unconscious move I don’t realize I’m making until his hands wrap around my wrists.
“Stop.”