I catch a glimpse of myself in the small mirror on the wall.
Pale. Tired. Eyes dull.
“Why me?” I whisper, looking up to the ceiling like it’s a pathway to God himself. “And why today?”
“Can we get some service?” Ray calls.
I flip a middle finger at the wall separating us then quickly fix my hair, smoothing down loose strands before forcing myself to stand.
You can do this.
I plaster on a smile and walk back out.
Ray’s eyes widen the second he sees me.
“Sorry,” I say brightly. “I was sweeping out the back. Rat droppings everywhere.” I laugh lightly.
“Oh,” the woman mutters, her face twisting in disgust.
“What can I get you?”
“I didn’t know you were working here,” Ray says, his voice lower now.
“We do a great deal on fish,” I reply, still smiling. I’m like a robot at this point. A walking, talking machine. “I can show you the menu?”
“I thought you went home.”
“Or there’s a couples special,” I continue, talking over him. “Double fish and chips for a tenner.”
Reg, my boss, appears behind me, back from wherever he disappears to half the day. As he squeezes past, his hand drags over my arse. I close my eyes briefly, swallowing the disgust. Reminding myself it’s just another day. Just part of the job. The other girls laugh it off, make jokes behind his back, but secretly, we all hate him and wish he’d drop dead over the fryer, or in it, I’m not fussy.
Ray’s eyes linger where Reg’s hand is, the shift in him is instant as his entire body stiffens. There’s a dangerous glint in his eye as his jaw tightens.
“So,” I say, my smile stretching wider, almost painful, “what will it be?”
“Maybe we should skip lunch,” the woman says, glancing at Ray. “We can go collect Sebastian early instead.”
A real smile tugs at my lips before I can stop it. Just hearing the little boy’s name makes my heart swell with joy.Fuck,I miss him.
I bite it back, resisting the urge to demand to know how he’s doing.
“We could tell him the good news,” she adds, almost giddy. “Then go out for dinner to celebrate.”
It slips out before I can stop it. “Good news?” Ray’s gaze snaps back to mine and I remember myself instantly. “Are you celebrating? We could do you a free cod on the house.”
Reg’s head snaps my way. He’d rather lose a limb than give anything away for free.
“He’s my son,” he says. “We had the DNA test back today.”
Everything inside me twists. My stomach churns violently. For a second, I let the intrusive thoughts win.‘They lied to me. Used me. Framed me.’
“Reg, take over,” I mutter, my voice suddenly weak. “I don’t feel well.”
I rip off my apron before anyone can respond and push through the door, the air outside hitting me hard as I stumble onto the pavement.
I barely make it to the side of the building before I’m bent over, retching. My whole body shakes as I fight to keep upright.
Ray steps out of the shop, the bell jangling behind him. He says something low to the woman, pressing his car keys into her hand, and she nods, slipping into the driver’s seat without question.