I dip my chin and reach for the handle, hovering over it for a moment. My heart is pounding so hard it feels like it’s in my throat. “Have a weapon ready.”
Micah stills, but nods anyway. As horrific as that feels to say, it’s true.
He almost killed you.
I force the reminder down with a swallow. My fingers tighten, and before I can hesitate any longer, I unlock the door and push it open. The sound of it pulls his attention immediately.
Jude’s head turns sharply toward me, and his entire body goes rigid. His hands curl into the sheets, knuckles whitening as something flashes across his face. Not recognition. No, something worse.Agitation.
“No,” The word tears out of him, raw and broken as he pushes himself up, the chains clinking with the movement. “No, no, no—”
My chest cracks. “Jude…” My voice trembles despite everything I try to do to steady it. “It’s Emma.”
That makes it worse.
His head jerks. “I know,” he snaps, squeezing his eyes shut like he’s trying to block me out. “Stop. I can’t—I can’t look at you.”
I take a step forward anyway. “I’m not going to hurt you,” I say softly, even as my throat tightens.
His breathing turns ragged, his hands coming up to drag through his hair. “Get out,” he rasps.
The words hit, but I don’t stop. “You’re safe,” I whisper. “He can’t hurt you here. I am not a threat to you.”
His eyes snap open. And for a second, I don’t recognize them. They’re dark. Hollow in a way that doesn’t feel human anymore. Like whatever warmth used to live there has just…died.
“Get thefuckout!” he shouts, surging forward. The chains snap tight with a violent crack, and I flinch back instinctively, my body hitting the wall behind me. My heart is racing now, panic clawing its way up my throat. But I don’t run.
He’s breathing hard, staring at me like I’m someone he wants to kill. And then he laughs. It’s broken, empty, and downrighthorrifying.“You shouldn’t be here.” His voice is rough.
Tears blur my vision, but I don’t look away. “Please.” The word slips out. “I’ve missed you. Please…talk to me.”
“No!” he spits, yanking against the chains again, harder this time, like he needs the pain. “Leave!”
My breath catches. “Jude—”
“I wouldn’t have had to—” He cuts himself off, shaking his head hard. “This, thisshit—”His voice spikes, frustration bleeding through. “Do you understand that? I don’twantyou. I don’t want toseeyou. I can’t—”
Thewords slam into me. I shake my head slowly, tears spilling over. “That’s not true.”
“It is!” he roars, the sound tearing through the room. “Everything he did.” His voice breaks, his body shaking violently now. “Everything hefuckingdid—”
I feel it in my chest. Like something is physically breaking apart inside me.
Please don’t let me die without you remembering what we felt like.
“They—” His voice falters, like the thought won’t come out. His hand drags through his hair again. “They used you.”
My bottom lip trembles.
“Yourface.”He swears under his breath, shaking his head like he can’t get away from it. “Every goddamn day, for months.”
I stay quiet, struggling to hold myself upright.
“They made me look at you,” he continues, quieter now. “Made me think about—” He cuts himself off, jaw tightening. “And every time I did, it just—” He chokes on it, his face twisting like the memory itself hurts. “It hurt. Sofuckingbad.”
My chest caves in.
“I tried—” he starts, then stops, shaking his head hard. “I tried to—keep you. Somewhere deep.” His voice drops, unstable, like it’s slipping through his fingers. “But he didn’t—he didn’t stop until—” He breaks off completely.