“That I do. You don’t think it’s gonna be too much on you with the two dogs and the baby, do you?” Now he looks concerned, and I love it.
“No. They’re good boys. We’ll be fine.”
“Good. Cause I’m a little attached to him already,” he chuckles.
“I know, and he loves you. Just call him over,” I tell him. He looks back at Rebel playing and whistles. Rebel’s ears perk up as he looks toward Tide.
“Come here, boy.” Rebel takes off running toward Tide as I smile and glance at Bella. She’s smiling just as big as me. Rebel stops and sits in front of Tide.
“Told you.”
“He’s a good boy, aren’t you Rebel? You’re daddy’s good boy.” I can’t help but smile as I look at them together. I think Rebel is the perfect choice for Tide. He’s loving but knows what to do if challenged. He’s a smart dog for a smart man.
“We’re gonna take good care of that baby, yeah?” He asks as he rubs his head. I love this. I love seeing him like this.
“He’s going to do great. I bet everyone at the clubhouse is going to love him,” I say. Tide smiles and nods his head.
“They don’t really have a choice. He’s gonna be around all the time.”
“That’s good. He’ll get used to everyone, and the yard out back is big enough for him to run in.”
“I was thinkin’ about that too,” he adds, looking me in the eye.
“About what?”
“The clubhouse isn’t really a home, Mylah. I mean, it is to me, but you and the baby? It’s not.” My heart leaps in my chest as I listen to him talk. I’m not sure what he’s getting at, and it makes me a little nervous.
“What do you mean?”
“I mean, I think we should look for a house of our own.” My eyes go wide at his words. I can’t believe that he’s saying that. He wants to get a house with me? So soon? Am I ready for that?
“A house? That’s a big step, Tide. You have everything you need at the clubhouse.”
“Except space for you and the baby. There’s too much goin’ on there for us to raise a baby there. It’s not the safest place either. Besides, I’ve seen a few houses I wouldn’t mind checkin’ out,” he says as he continues to pet Rebel.
“I think it’s a great idea,” Bella chimes in.
“I don’t know.”
“What don’t you know? We’ve been livin’ together at the clubhouse. Why can’t we live together in a house?” He turns to look at me now, giving me his full attention.
“I just…what if it doesn’t work out? I can’t do this again, Tide. I left everything I had to live with Christian, and look how that turned out.” In seconds, he’s in my face, cupping it in his hands.
“I’m not him. Do you think I’d ever put you out of the house? Our house? Our home, Mylah? Fuck, put it all in your name if that makes you feel better. I’m not him, I’m not that kind of man.” In my heart, I know he isn’t the same as his son. He’s better. So much better.
“I’m just scared.”
“And you have every right to be. What he did was fucked up. How things played out was wrong on more levels than I can say, but this is different. We’re different,” he reminds me before leaning down and pressing his lips to mine. “I’d never do that to you.”
I nod my head as tears spring to my eyes. I reach up to wipe them away, but Tide does it first. He swipes the tears from my cheeks before grabbing my hands and pulling me to my feet. Then he wraps his arms around me and holds me as closely as he can.
“You gotta remember that we’re different people, baby. I know what he did to you. I know he was fucked up and wrong but I wouldn’t do that. I couldn’t do that.”
“I know, Tide. It’s just a lot to take in. First, the baby and now you want to get a house.”
“I’m not rushin’ any of this, Mylah. You wanna wait, we wait. I just want a place where we can raise our baby and let the dogs run free.”
“I think it’s a great idea,” I whisper. Maybe this is what we need. Maybe we need our place and space. Not that I don’t like the clubhouse, I do, but he’s right. It’s not a place to raise a baby.