Tonight is my last shift before I have three whole blissful days off. I plan to do some grocery shopping, buy some junk food, and lock myself away to catch up on some TV and reading.
“Binging TV and books, with a load of junk food. You?” I ask him, while checking something on my computer.
“I have a date, plus tickets for a basketball game.” He wiggles his eyebrows.
“Who is she? And have you told her that you are a man-whore?”
“Little shit.” He looks up to make sure that no one is near us. “She knows what she is getting, that is all I am saying.” He wiggles his eyebrows again, this time making me giggle.
It feels nice to laugh with my co-workers. They know how to make anyone smile— to forget for a little while the sadness that they might be feeling.
“How are things with that biker?” he asks.
My skin bristles at his question, my shoulders tensing up. They know that I missed a shift but not the reason why, so I had to lie to them, and Crash never came up in conversation, until now.
Relief and disappointment have been the emotions I have been feeling lately since he walked away. His promise has been floating in the back of my mind, which I think makes it worse.
I am not sure if something has happened or if he has just given up on me. Maybe Val did get to him and he caved, wanting another go with her. History can be a solid foundation when it comes to couples trying again.
Yet, he looked so determined when he said that nothing had or would happen between them again, but I can’t shake this feeling that something is wrong.
“Hey, you, okay?” I look at Benton.
“Yeah. Sorry, spaced out.” I force a smile. “Things are complicated right now. I am not sure what we are.”
I lean my palms on the desk in front of me, dropping my chin to my chest. It is quiet this time of night, with not many guests walking around. I flash back to Crash the last time I saw him: he looked tired, but still handsome.
He has that boy-next-door vibe, but his new stubble adds to the bad-boy biker image. You take into account his leather vest, and his motorcycle, and he is a girl’s wet dream.
“There has been a bit of tension between us. An ex of his said something to me and it hurt, making me re-think what we have.Mix in some miscommunication, and we haven’t seen or spoken to each other for a few days. Things are up in the air.”
Benton rubs my back. “Stevie, I know next to nothing about being in a committed relationship. But I see my folks, and they are still very much in love and have been since the day they met. They have had their ups and downs, every relationship does, but you have to choose whether it is worth fighting for. Nothing in life is easy, but you can control how you deal with what is thrown at you.”
I smile at him, standing to full height again and adjusting my blazer.
“You just went all Love-Yoda on me,” I joke, and he winks.
“I may not want to settle down yet, but I know love from seeing my parents and couples who come here to stay. Now, we also see the cheaters as well, and that is a stark reminder as to why I can’t take a woman yet. I do not think I am capable of being faithful, and I will not intentionally hurt a woman.”
“Aww, Benny, you big old softy, you.” I playfully punch his arm. “When you are ready, you will make a great boyfriend.”
“Well, our sex life will be fucking epic with all the practicing I am doing.” Again he wiggles his brows and I fake gag.
“Eww, no.”
The rest of the shift passes with ease. No more guests come in and we chill, talking and catching up on paperwork, not that there is much. When we are leaving, Benton walks me to my car, and my phone beeps with a text.
“See you in three days.” He waves goodbye and climbs into his car.
My heart drops into my feet when I see a picture with a text attached to it.
Jon: Thought you should see this.
The photo is of Crash standing next to a kitted-out car, with Racer and Savage next to him. But it is Valarie who is next to him, her hand on his bicep, that makes my heart constrict.
She is dressed just like she used to be when Crash had a race.
Why did he lie to me again? And I keep fucking falling for it.