“But how do I know?” I asked, my voice muffled against her shoulder. “How do I know he really loves me and not just the idea of me? How do I know I’m not just convenient?”
“You don’t,” Faith said simply. “You can’t know for certain. That’s what love is, Hope. It’s a leap of faith. It’s choosing to trust someone with your heart, even when you’re terrified they might break it. It’s deciding that the risk of pain is worth the chance at happiness.”
I pulled back to look at her, tears streaming down my face. “What if I’m wrong? What if I marry him and it falls apart?”
“Then it falls apart,” Faith said, her voice steady. “And you’ll survive it, just like you’ve survived everything else. But, Hope, what if you’re right? What if you marry him and it’s everything you’ve ever wanted? What if you build a life together, a real life, with love and laughter and all the messy, complicated, beautiful things that come with it? Are you really willing to throw that away because you’re afraid?”
I stared at her, my heart pounding so hard I could feel it in my throat.
“You can’t live your whole life protecting yourself from pain,” Faith continued, her hands gripping mine. “That’s not living, Hope. That’s just existing. And you deserve more than that. You deserve to be loved. You deserve to be happy. And if Chapman is the man who makes you happy, if he’s the one you’ve been waiting for, then don’t let fear take that away from you.”
“I’m so scared,” I whispered, my voice breaking.
“I know.” Faith pulled me close again, her arms wrapping around me tightly. “But you’re also brave. You’re the bravest person I know. And I think you already know what you want to do. You’re just afraid to admit it.”
I closed my eyes, breathing in the scent of soil and jasmine, feeling the warmth of the sun on my skin. Faith was right. I did know what I wanted.
I wanted Chapman. I wanted his hands on my skin and his voice in the darkness. I wanted to wake up beside him every morning and fall asleep in his arms every night. I wanted to help him raise Aurora, to build a life together, to be the family he’d lost when Julie died.
I wanted to marry him.
Not because Reaper ordered it. Not because the club demanded it. But because I loved him. Because he was mine, and I was his, and nothing, not fear, not doubt, not the entire fucking MC world, could change that.
“What do I do?” I asked, my voice barely above a whisper.
Faith pulled back to look at me, her eyes shining with tears. “You decide what you want, Hope. And then you choose it. Deliberately. On your own terms. You walk into that room and you tell Chapman exactly what you want from him. Not what Reaper wants. Not what the club wants. Whatyouwant.”
“And if he can’t give me that?”
“Then you walk away,” Faith said simply. “But at least you’ll know. At least you’ll have made the choice yourself instead of letting fear make it for you.”
I nodded slowly, wiping at my tears with the back of my hand. “Okay.”
“Okay?”
“Okay.” I took a deep breath, feeling something settle in my chest. Not a resolution, exactly. But clarity. A sense of direction I hadn’t had before.
I loved Chapman. And I wanted to marry him. But I needed to do it on my own terms. I needed to know that he wanted me. Not because Reaper ordered it, not because it was convenient, but because he loved me. Because he chose me. And if hecouldn’t give me that, if he couldn’t separate his feelings from the coercion of the situation, then I would walk away.
But at least I would know. At least I would have asked.
Faith stood and pulled me to my feet, her hands gripping mine tightly. “You’re going to be okay, Hope. No matter what happens, you’re going to be okay.”
I nodded, squeezing her hands. “Thank you.”
“For what?”
“For listening. For not judging. For reminding me that I’m not Mom.”
Faith’s expression softened, and she pulled me into a tight hug. “You could never be Mom, Hope. You’re too strong. Too brave. Tooyou.”
I held her for a long moment, drawing strength from her presence. Then I pulled back and took a deep breath.
“I need to talk to him,” I said quietly.
“I know.” Faith smiled, her eyes shining with tears. “Go. I’ll be here if you need me.”
I nodded and turned toward the door, my heart pounding in my chest. I didn’t know what I was going to say to Chapman. Didn’t know how to put into words everything I was feeling. But I knew one thing for certain: I wasn’t going to let fear make this decision for me.