He kissed the top of her head. “If it happens, it happens.” Her stomach gurgled and he laughed. “Let’s eat.” Wheelie pulled her over to the table and sat her down, then he brought over the pancakes and bacon and went back to the stove to whip up scrambled eggs.
As Sofia sipped her orange juice, she watched Wheelie cooking and warmth spread through her. She tried to picture him as a father then chided herself for being so foolish. The truth was, Sofia had always wanted a family, and Tigger knew that, so he punished her by not giving her one. As the years went by and his violence toward her increased, Sofia no longer wanted to bring a child into her chaotic and dangerous world, but looking at Wheelie just now made her think having a family might be possible.
“Here you go,” Wheelie said, putting a plate of scrambled eggs in front of her. “I have blueberry syrup too. You want that?”
“You know I love blueberries.” He went over to the pantry and came back with an unopened bottle. She glanced at it, then at him, then back at the bottle. “Did you buy this just for me?”
“Yeah. I figured you’d be eating breakfast over here at some point.” Wheelie unscrewed the top.
Laughing, Sofia shook her head. “Why do I feel like a fly that’s been lured into a spider’s web?”
A while later, as Sofia finished loading the dishwasher, Wheelie ran his hands up and down her back. “I thought we could go to Hanging Lake for a while then maybe throw some steaks on the grill.” He lightly bit her earlobe. “Just so you know, grilled steak is one of the other meals I can make.”
As much as she wanted to live in their cocoon, she knew she couldn’t. “I’d love to go to Hanging Lake, but I should get home after that. What if Bones comes by and I’m not there?” She felt him stiffen. “I love being with you, but we both know Tigger is the elephant in the room.”
“Animal and Rags are helping out with Bones for today.” Wheelie stepped away from her. “I want you to know this isn’t some damn fling while Tigger’s outta town. You should also know that I have no plans on being the dude you’re having an affair with.”
“What’re you saying?”
“That I want you to leave Tigger.” He leaned against the counter, his gray eyes unyielding, pinning her in place.
A fluttery feeling spread through her belly while her heartbeat raced. “Do you know what this would mean… to you? You’d be kicked out of the brotherhood. I don’t want to be responsible for that.”
Wheelie’s facial features hardened. “You’d rather stay with a man who disrespects and hurts you? Regardless of me, you need to leave him. You know that. I can’t figure out how you can stay with someone like him.”
A prick of anger stabbed Sofia. “So, we fucked, and now you have the right to tell me what to do?” She turned away, but Wheelie grabbed her arm and tugged her to him. “Let me go.”
“You’re not walking away without talking about this shit.”
She pushed him from her. “You want me to talk about it? Okay. Ihatethat I became my mother. Whenever my dad beat the shit out of her, I swore no man would ever touch me. It’s not like I chose to be with an abuser. You all think I did. Tigger wasn’t like that in the beginning. It didn’t just happen overnight. Were there red flags? Fuck, yeah. Did I ignore them? Yeah… I know that now, but when we got together, it never crossed my mind that Tigger would hurt me, cheat on me, and humiliate me. My mom used to say that Tigger was too jealous and it was not a good sign, butallof you guys act like chest-pounding, testosterone-driven cavemen, so I didn’t think it was all that unusual.” Tears threatened to spill down her cheeks and she turned away from Wheelie. The last thing she wanted was for him to see her cry.
“I didn’t mean to upset you,” he said in a low voice.
“Didn’t you? What do you want me to say? I stayed with Tigger because he made me wholly dependent on him. I never had a job, I have no money of my own, he drove away my friends, and even isolated me from my family. For such a long time now, my whole world… my existence revolves around him. It’s not so easy to just leave it. Even though he’s hurt me, there’ve been good times too. My life with him has been… home—a familiar place even if it has been cloaked in layers of isolating pain.” Her voice hitched and he was right beside her, cocooning her in his strong arms and making her feel safe and protected.
“I’m sorry if I sounded like a jackass. I wasn’t giving you an ultimatum or judging you.”
“But youwerejudging me. Everyone does. They act like I’m some weak, pathetic person, but I have the strength inside of me even if it’s been buried for a long time.” Sofia tilted her head back and met his gaze. “You’ve helped to bringthat strengthto the surface. I know I can depend on you and the old ladies to help me break free. And I want to. I really do. I’ve been planning to leave Tigger ever since Christmas. I’m just afraid the club will say it’s because of you and kick you out.”
“Don’t let that stand in your way to freedom. Besides, no one’s kicking me out.” He bent down and kissed her softly. “I don’t wanna put more pressure on you, but what we’re sharing isn’t fucking. I’ve been with a lot of women, but no one has touched me the way you have. I’ve been crazy about you since Tigger prospected for the club and brought you to one of the bike rallies. What’s that been? Eight years ago? But… you need to leave him becauseyouwant to, not because of me.”
“Believe me when I tell you that I’ve wanted to leave Tigger for a long time. Letting myself get close to you gave me the impetus to do something about it.”
Wheelie rubbed his thumb over her bottom lip, tracing her smile, and a tingle shivered through her. “I want us to get even closer. I’ll help with this any way I can.”
“For now, let’s not piss off the club.”
“I told you—”
Sofia put her fingers on his mouth, stifling his words. “I know, but for my peace of mind, let’s keep what we have just between us. After I leave Tigger, we can be open. I know Cara will help me find a good divorce attorney.”
“There’s no damn way you’re going to tell him that you’re leaving without me or another brother with you.”
Fear skittered through her as Sofia envisioned Tigger’s reaction to her decision to leave. “I agree. I was going to ask Cara and Belle if they thought Hawk and Banger could be there when I tell him. I want to do it right after he gets back.”
“You should just pack up and leave now. You can stay with me.”
Sofia smiled while she squeezed him. “You’re so wonderful, but I could never forgive myself if you have to break away from the club. I know how much it means to you.”