DakkyDuck: Oh, Jack, that’s awful?—
I stop typing, the message unsent, when a message pops up in the chat window.
TheRealCreator has left the game.
CHAPTER 10
JACKSON
Ispend the weekend in the design studio with the team, partly helping to craft the underwater dungeon and partly helping with the RP stuff. My lead artist, Michaela, looks at me as though I’ve grown a second head every time I make a role-playing suggestion. My team’s good. They push back when they need to. But this weekend, that only happens once.
In the break room, I can feel Michaela glancing at me as she talks with her wife on the phone. I’m on my phone, looking at Dakota’s stream. I’m appearing offline so she doesn’t know I’m watching her. Why did I tell her that about my mother? I never eventalkabout those things, and now, it’s like I can’t cram it back inside of me. It’s too close to the surface.
“Sir?” Michaela says, standing over my desk.
“Yes?”
“I want to say, we all think you’re doing the right thing with Cove. And we’re over the moon that you’re taking an interest in the roleplaying side.”
I smile tightly. Hoping I don’t look intimidating, knowing I probably do from the way she’s cringing like she thinks she’s overstepped. “Thank you. The team’s doing fantastic work. Please, speak up if it’s too much. I mean that.”
“We will,” she says. “But it’s not.”
When she leaves the break room, I put on my Bluetooth headphones and switch on the audio for Dakota’s stream, titledSunday Funday. “I’m not really sure I’m cut out for that sort of thing,” she murmurs.
I quickly scan the chat for keywords. See the wordrelationship. I swallow a ball of emotion. I haven’t spoken to her for two days. I dropped too much on her. All that emotion and heartache, dragging it up from the past and using it as an emotional burden for a woman I don’t really know. But feel like I do.
“Life is so simple at the moment. Stream, sleep, hang with a friend or two. Repeat. Why complicate it?”
If I were a more superstitious man, I’d say the universe is giving me a sign. I should just message her and explain why I’m being distant. These things are difficult for me to think about, let alone talk about. Do I regret it? Am I worried she’s going to tell someone? No, hell no. So then,what?
That night, I lie in bed, phone in my hand. I quickly send her a message before I can wimp out of it again.
TheRealCreator: Sorry for the ghost routine, beautiful. Work has been mayhem. We’re doing a good job at reinventing the Cove. How have you been? How are the streams going? I tuned in for a while today, and you looked great. As usual.
The message status changes fromdeliveredtoreadalmost immediately. I wait eagerly for her reply. I’m shocked at myself. Fidgeting and buzzing with excitement like a little kid.
Three dots appear. She’s typing.
Then they vanish. I wait for a long time. Ten minutes. Staring at the screen like a loser.
TheRealCreator: Are you there?
I type, then delete the message. If she wanted to reply, she would.
Maybe this is a sign. We haven’t done anything yet, not really, just shared a small taste of each other. Had some steamy online fun. We could cut ties here, and our lives would go on as usual.
But the next day, I call Pete and Elena Voss to my office. Elena is my logistics head, a Jane-of-all-trades who’s remarkably adaptable. She’s a young go-getter with hair shaved on one side, the rest flipped over, Viking-style.
“I want to repurpose the upcoming graphics exhibition to allow streamers to attend.”
Elena tugs on a lock of hair. Pete adjusts his glasses. Their hands lower in almost comical slow motion. “The event is in five days,” Elena murmurs. “All the invitations have been sent, and we’vegot our RSVPs. We’re trying to drum up interest from graphic card companies, especially, right?” She seems bothered. “How do streamers factor into that?”
“Their insight into whether graphics or gameplay should be our highest priority,” I say.
“Well, sure,” Elena says tightly. “But at agraphics exhibition?”
“It will be good to have some opposing voices in the room,” I murmur. “Plus, I think Pete’s right. We need to do more outreach to the most passionate members of our community.”