Ellie sighed. Something in her eyes softened, though.
“You know what he told me? That it wasn’t really your fault. That his feelings weren’t your problem, andhewas the one who’d been stupid about it. That he’d be over it in a few days. That he missed you.”
“I miss him,” I said without a moment’s thought.
“You owe him an apology,” Ellie said. “He doesn’t expect it, so you never apologize to him and I know that’s not because you’rea bad person but youhave to, Theo. This time, you have to. He deserves it.”
“I… Ellie,youknow how I…”
“Of course I know,” Ellie said. “I know exactly how you feel about Simon. The person who doesn’t know how you feel about Simon isSimon.”
“Which is what I did wrong,” I said.
Ellie gave me a sharp little nod, lips pursed.
“Among other things,” I added. “I know I screwed up, okay? I’m… I’m going to tell him. I’m terrified, but I’m more terrified of losing the most important person in the world. Simon means more to me than anything, and he’s—he’s at his parents’ house,” I said as the memory hit me. He’d said he was going to see his parents over the weekend.
Well. At least they liked me.
Ellie’s eyes widened, confirming I was right.
“You’re amazing and Simon is so lucky to call you his friend,” I said, stepping around her. “Thank you for looking out for him.”
“I’ll skin you alive if you hurt him again,” Ellie called after me as I strode down the hall as fast as I could without actually breaking into a run.
“I’ll bring you the knife myself.”
29
SIMON
The doorbell rang justas I’d finished counting the glow in the dark stars on my bedroom ceiling for the fifth time.
It was great to see Mom and Dad. It was great to know there was someone else in the house, that I wasn’t all alone. Right now, though, I was bad company, and I didn’t want to inflict that on them. I’d be okay in a few hours, when I’d had time to soak in the comfort of the familiar surroundings. Until then?—
“… if he wants to see you, but I can’t make any promises,” my mom’s voice carried from the front hall.
I sat up, heart pounding. There was only one person she could have been talking to.
If I’d been asked a minute ago if I wanted to see him, I wouldn’t have been sure what my answer was.
Now that it wasn’t a hypothetical question, I was in the hall and practically running for the door without conscious thought getting in the way at all.
When I saw Theo standing just beyond the front door, silhouetted against the failing daylight behind him, something in me broke. I couldn’t have said whether it was in a good way, or a bad one.
“Simon,” he said, breathless. As though he couldn’t believe what he was seeing.
I almost couldn’t believe it, either.
Mom turned to look back at me, brows raised and mouth set. The way her grip tightened on the doorknob saidsay the word and I’ll slam this door in his face.
I was lucky to have a mom like her.
“It’s okay, Mom,” I said. My voice sounded distant, as though it was coming from someone else.
Theo’s shoulders dropped away from his ears as he looked at me, eyes gleaming. I’d never seen a look on his face like the one he was wearing now—as though he was seeing the sun for the first time. As though he was seeing something so awe-inspiring it’d change his life forever.
He was looking atme. Like that.