I look at Noah who is watching me with a disappointment I can feel.
“Look, I’m sorry but I can’t sit here and watch him hit on some other red head like I know he will. I wasn’t planning on him knowing it was CD that I text.” I try to explain, but he is silent.
“And CD? Does he know he is a pawn in this little game you two are playing? This is the shit I am talking about Jen. This type of game has no winner!” He says the last part with a finality that tells me I shouldn’t argue.
“Well, thanks for the lecture. Again. And yes, CD knows I just need to get away from here. I have no plans to lead him on or toy with him. I just can’t be here.” I say.
“Bullshit Jen. He wanted you here, he included you. This is the biggest night in his life and you’re about to go fuck off with CD to spite him. This right here is why I say to not put me in the god damned middle!” He yells and everyone in our group is watching us as Bright makes her way to us.
“What’s going on?” She asks, eyeing us both.
“Nothing.” Noah says, but the calm in his voice is a fake one and she knows it.
“I need to go and though its rude of me to leave so early… I just have to.” I tug on Noah’s arm hoping to salvage this friendship that is continuously getting its ass kicked. “Look, I love you and your opinion matters to me, but in this I have a side too. One you know,Noah. Icannotbe here. If that upsets you then twist it however you need to so that Cal stays a hero in your fucking eyes!”
I don’t wait for another cold response from him. I don’t need or want one. I just need away from the shitshow I have watched a million times. I know how it ends, and honestly its predictability is why I have stopped watching.
Cal
Fuck her and the dude she runs off too. I refuse to ponder a second longer on her ass tonight. I make my way to Lexington and decide that now is as good a time as any to figure her out.
“Hey, so what did ya think of our set?” I ask and take a seat beside her.
“Amazing. I can tell you have a gift with composing. Even on the covers you did, your talent to mix it up is present.” She says before waving at her group of friends.
“I hate covers. There important though in a position like yours where you are building a fan base. Keep playing songs that fit your sound and you’ll see it’s easier to get in that crowd for promotion. We covered similar bands like our sound back in the day. It’s part of the process.”
I order us both another drink when the server comes back, slipping me her number. “No thanks.” I say, handing it back to her. I don’t even attempt playing coy like I would use it. That’s how stalkers are made.
“Sorry, just in the middle of something complicated and getting another woman’s number would confuse it more.” I try to explain, but give up when she stalks off in a huff. The attitude is a dead giveaway to a fangirl.
Her expectations of nailing a star tonight fizzled out and that shit is on her not me. It was one thing when I was fucking them, using them. They used me so it was fifty/fifty. Now, I’m just off the market whether I like it or not.
“That was kind of harsh.” Lexington says, and honestly, I forgot we were talking.
I motion toward the server that got the brush off. “That, is a fangirl and they are part of the all-encompassing music industry. First comes the music, the fans, the money and then its girls, girls, girls. It will fuck your life up if you let it.” I explain, hoping she doesn’t think I am just a brass guitarist who thinks his dick is made of gold.
“Got it. No girls for me.” She says with a stiff bossy look to her face.
“Fangirls, get it right Lex.” I correct her with humor I hope she picks up on.
She laughs telling me she did. “And, will I one day have a fanboy audience?”
I laugh because she has no idea. “Oh hell, it will be worse for you with the fanboys. You’ll get there with the right help though. I want to come sees your next show.”
“Why?” She asks me and I get her caution. There are more snakes deceiving the musicians in our world than there is a promise of sincerity.
“Because you have that thing that people will devour, but it will never happen if you don’t fix the sound. Your off and I think that if I watch a full set without distraction I could help you.” I don’t know why I want to do this other than the music itself, but I need this project.
“I have a gig at Pinky’s in Tacoma on Friday.” She says and I know she is in. Who knows, maybe I could actually help produce an album or even collaborate on one.
That’s what time off is for.
“Pinky’s on Friday…?”
“At seven.” She clarifies.
I nod and pay for the drinks, tipping the butt hurt waitress a hundred dollars for hurting her pride.
“To Pinky’s at seven on Friday.” I say in way of cheers and ignore the sting that my lack in a life has made me some musical savior.
“To Pinky’s on Friday.” She repeats and slams her shot. “Here is my number if you can’t make it or change your mind. I won’t be a fangirl thing, just let me know so I don’t let my nerves get me at my show.” She takes my phone and puts her number in it.
“I’ll be there and don’t get too anxious. You might not like what I think is missing or what critiques I have. I just know that we would have loved a solid mentor when we just started out. I only want to offer the same because your talent is mind blowing Lexington. You need to learn to hone it and blend it right. After that nothing will touch you.”
She hugs me and what was once a hottie has now become a sweet girl wet behind the ears who could use a friend. I knew, no matter how hot she is that I only wanted one and that without her, there just wasn’t another who could fill her spot.