The song ends, but we go right into The Fray, then Never Again for one of our slower songs. The solo shreds it though, slow or not. It is one I created just fucking around yet resulted in one of our best.
The words though, they hit me different this round as I watch Jen sing along with the girls, while dancing in circles with Raleigh. She has never looked so carefree and I am blinded by the beauty she radiates.
I recall a show, in a city I can’t recall where I watched her on the side of the stage waving at us, with a bright smile. I was excited, but I didn’t see her.
Not like I should have.
No, I was pumped knowing I was going to have one hell of a night getting rowdy and wasted with her.
Now I see her, and I want to tackle her and lock her in a room until she admits she wants me. After that fight though, it scares me to even think like that. I am past the point of breaking.
Wayfuckin past it.
Once I start my solo I riff and rile the crowd and just play what I know while I talk to them like they are my friends. Most are because the House is in Gig and it’s a small ass town. I see so many fans that were once friends and I love the way I control what I do.
I don’t sing to a crowd solo becausenobodycan sing like Chad. I do backup vocals and only when I chill alone I sing to whatever song I play. I recall Shame after his dad died as he played disarm by theSmashing Pumpkinsand I want to pay a tribute to my bandmates, my brothers, the way I did withNutshellfor Noah.
I start the strumming and acoustically I don’t think it was clear until I started to sing to it.
Everyone started singing along with me as I looked to Shame who knew what I was doing with it and nodded before mouthing ‘thank you’, pulling Cassa close and kissing her. The emotion it brought up, clearly visible on his face.
Right before the second chorus I stop and address the audience. "We need something heavy in this, it’s too weak and the jam aint weak so I am asking the boys to finish it with me."
Chad walks over to arrange the set up and after Sev gives him his acoustic he looks to me with a smile. "You gotta sing along with me though." He doesn’t wait for me to agree as he looks to Noah. His acoustic out as well ready to play the base string and Shame…? He just looks ready to nail it.
"From the beginning." Chad says and counts the beat, as he and I come in together. We play back to back and I know he won’t sing until the chorus.
We hit every note perfect as I watch Shame tapping along lightly, face tight with emotion as we come to the chorus. Soon his talent and ability will be a loud presence in the crowd.
Chad steps up to the mic singing alongside me to impact the song with the missing violins, but together... man it blew me away.
By the end of the song I realize I can riff and have fun, but after so long I get bored and I would rather jam with my band. "So, look, I’m on a roll here and I am playing stuff you guys don’t know is personal to me and the guys. Shamus playedDisarma million times and still does for his late father. Noah lives and dies byAlice in Chains. I want to keep going until my fingers bleed, but like all the other music we played tonight, it was influential to me and these guys influence the hell out of me. They are why I am where I am today."
The crowd goes crazy probably more for the whole band coming on instead of me alone and its honestly how it should be. I am just not a solo guy, solo doesn’t inspire me the way life does.
"So, look, you guys will know this shit the minute I start playing, but I am taking it back almost seven years ago on this stage when Chad finally kissed his girl after playing it for her."
I start the beginning tune toSaving MebyNicklebackand Carrie starts screaming with Cassa as Chad laughs missing the entry for vocals. We all stop as they look at me while I look at him. "What the fuck bud, sing that shit to your girl." I say and start playing again as the crowd explodes. Chad does just that pointing at Carrie who is singing along with the girls the minute he starts.
He pulls her from the side of the stage when he hits the chorus and hugs her, dancing with her as he sings to the crowd. He lets her go but not far. He guides her to Noah who sings the backup in this one. She imitates him on the bass, like a spitting image of him.
It gives me an image of her one night at a bonfire on her first date with Chad as she played beside Noah. I close my eyes and imagine Candey beside her, watching them both sing with understanding in the song.
I know we need to play one more and call it a night.
When the song ends I address the crowd and bring Cassa, Bright and Raleigh on stage. I look at Jen, motioning for her to come too. She may have been our biggest fan even back then. "I’m going to go on record that this is for a good cause so I don’t get my ass kicked later."
Everyone laughs, but the ones I pulled on stage look at me with trepidation.
They’ll live.
"So, I’m ordering a round of shots for everyone up here." I turn and count heads before requesting ten shots. I pull Sevyn our Roadie extraordinaire and Brian our tour manager on stage. "Seeing my dear friend Carrie here dance and imitate her brother, I am taken back to a night forever ago when we all watched her sing and play with her brother.WhatI recall with a saddened clarity though, was a friend we lost who sat beside them. Watching in awe, understanding how deep that song meant to her two-favorite people."
The recognition of Candey in both Carrie and Noah tells me I am not on the shit list, thank fuck.
"She was a part of us, of all of us up here. She impacted our lives and we miss her daily. She should be here, she really should. This is the final song of the night, so those with glasses raise them high."
We all take our shot glasses and look out over the crowd and see hundreds of beers, cocktails and shots held high. "To Candey and knowing she is with us tonight."