And that’s when I remembered I was wearing my glasses. I usually only wore them when I was working on my laptop… and when hot guys weren’t around to see me. I quickly took them off and tucked them in the pocket of my hoodie. I didn’t need him seeing what a geek I secretly kinda was.
“Writing what?” he said.
I cleared my throat, nervous. I hadn’t told anyone about the book I was writing, other than Angeline, so far. “It’s just a project I’ve been working on.”
“What kind of project?”
“It’s got nothing to do with Cary,” I told him, assuming that was the reason for his interest. “Well… actually, it kinda does.”
Why was I telling him this?
“What is it, Courteney?” he pressed, getting annoyed.
“Nothing. It’s just…”It’s not nothing, I berated myself. “It’s… kind of a book.”
His eyebrows went up. “A book?”
“Yeah.”
He stared at me… and I knew why I was telling him this.
Because I liked his attention, and I knew this would snag it. And also, because I wanted someone in Gabe’s inner circle to know what I was working on—and tell me it was okay.
Because I wanted, badly, for someone to give me permission to write this book.
The book I’d already mostly written.
“It’s about Cary?” he asked, still hovering.
“Can you just sit down?”
He moved, slowly, and sat on the lounge chair next to mine, facing me. “I didn’t know you wrote books.”
“I don’t yet. This would be the first one.”
“Does Cary know about it?”
“No. And it’s not really about him.”
I clicked on the title page of the book, took a little breath, and turned the screen toward him so he could see it.
ALIVE: The Life and Death of Gabe Romanko
Xander read it. Then his eyes met mine.
“It’s… just a working title.”
“You’re writing… Gabe’s life story?”
“Yeah. Like a biography. It’s an unauthorized biography, so far. But I’m going to take it to Gabe’s parents when I have a decent draft finished and ask them to read it, get their permission to try to publish it.” I shrugged casually, but nothing about this project was casual to me. “Unless they don’t like it, I guess.”
“Can I read it?”
My stomach turned.
Dread.
Excitement.