BECKETT
IHAD NEVER felt more out of place than at a ceremony built around love. Which was saying something, considering I’d been welcomed into this family like I belonged. I’d walked into their lives under false pretenses, and it was hard to feel like I deserved to sit there watching Catherine and Lily Montgomery promise forever to each other all over again.
The scene was beautiful, though, with cream flowers and greenery all along the arch at the front of the pavilion with the lake in the background behind. All the aisle candles I’d helped unload yesterday lined both sides of the runner, and all the string lights we’d fixed hung overhead, waiting for the sun to go down before they really came alive for the after-party.
I should’ve been able to look at it all and feel proud to have played a small part, but all I could think was that the best thing I’d done since meeting Sawyer was also the bare minimum. I’d told the truth too late.
I sat near the back, hands clasped in my lap as the other guests talked quietly around me. All I could hear was Sawyer’s voice from earlier, though.You were the first thing in weeks that didn’t make me feel stupid for wanting more. Now I feel stupid for all of it.
I’d been carrying that sentence with me all day long, through getting dressed, walking from the cabin alone, and then arriving at the pavilion unsure of what I was supposed to do now.
It wasn’t long before the music changed and Hudson came into view, leading his brothers toward the front of the pavilion. He nodded at several people in the crowd, and when his gaze landed on me, I knew Sawyer had told him. His expression didn’t change much, since, unlike Sawyer, he didn’t give much away, but the protective, assessing look in his eyes told me all I needed to know.
Rome followed right after, picking me out immediately, and I couldn’t blame him for the disappointment and warning in his stare.
I gave them both a small nod, and then Sawyer stepped into view and everything in me went still. For one painful second I forgot how to breathe. He looked so damn good. That black tux on him was tailored perfection on his long, lean body. His hair was styled but still a little tousled, and it made my hands ache with the memory of sinking my fingers into it.
Sawyer was gorgeous.
No, not just that. He was so breathtakingly stunning that it was hard to sit there and not go to him.
As all three brothers faced the crowd, Rome leaned over and whispered something in Sawyer’s ear, and it made him laugh—but it didn’t reach his eyes.
That fucking killed me. He was smiling because that was what today required and because his mothers deserved it. Sawyer knew how to show up for the people he loved even when he was hurting.
Then his eyes met mine and the laugh faded. Not completely or in a way anyone else would notice, but I saw it. Felt it. That electricity that was always between us felt a little bit tighter and unsure.
I didn’t smile… I wasn’t sure if I was allowed to. So I held his gaze and gave him the only thing I could from where I sat.
What he’d asked for: space.
Every part of me wanted to plead my case and apologize, but the ball was in Sawyer’s court, as it should be. He was the one who got to decide what happened next.
After a long moment, Sawyer looked away first, and I couldn’t deny that it felt like a stab to my gut. I deserved it, though, and more.
Another music change, to something softer and more romantic, and everyone stood as Catherine and Lily made their way down the aisle together. They walked side by side and hand in hand, wearing flowers in their hair instead of carrying them, and I caught the tears already flowing for both of them as they passed.
Even I felt that. How could I not? There was something powerful about watching two people choose each other again after decades together. No relationship was ever easy, but they made it look worth it as they stood there, surrounded by their family and filled with an audience of adoring friends and loved ones. Everyone should be so lucky.
As Rome began the ceremony—much more subdued for the occasion than the over-the-top game show host of a few nights ago—I tried and failed not to look at Sawyer.
He watched his mothers with a soft smile and tears in his eyes, his hands clasped in front of him. Every now and then he’d dab at his eyes with the tissue clenched in his hand. I had no right to wish I could be up there giving him the support he needed, I knew that, but it didn’t change my natural instinct to do so.
I tried to focus elsewhere, on his moms as they gave their vows, which were funny and sweet, making everyone laugh and cry in equal measure. Rome, to his credit, was showing quitea bit of restraint, keeping the ceremony heartfelt with just a touch of the dramatic, because how could the actor in him resist making at least one joke?
But through it all, I could only think of what I’d almost had. Sawyer. And that included his family and the laughter, the teasing, the theme nights and the quiet moments with him at the end of a long day. It was a future I hadn’t realized I’d already started imagining.
Applause broke out around me, snapping me out of my thoughts as Catherine and Lily kissed beneath the arch. Everyone got to their feet, and I followed, my eyes drifting to Sawyer again.
The whole event was magical, just the way they’d intended it.
So why did I feel so hollow?
I kept to myself as the ceremony transitioned to the courtyard, where drinks and appetizers were being passed around by waiters with trays while the family took photos at the pavilion. Soon we would all move to the ballroom for the reception, but Sawyer’s parents had wanted to spend as much time outside as possible, since the weather was so nice.
“Champagne?” A waiter appeared to my right, a full tray in hand, but I shook my head.
It would be too easy to drown my sorrows and the weight of what I’d done in alcohol. No, I needed a clear head, especially if I hoped to get a chance to talk to Sawyer at some point.