“No,” I tell her, thankful I can reassure her of that at least. “They didn’t…” I swallow hard. “I wasn’t raped.”
“Okay.” She nods to herself. “Okay. Good,” she says the second firmer as if coming to some sort of decision.
Don’t get me wrong, I’m grateful I didn’t experience that kind of abuse. I’m not sure I could have survived something like that. But being brutalized the way I was, I don’t think I’ll be able to forget what was done to me for a very long time. My blood still burns. My nerves are still frayed and on fire. But I’m coping. I know it will get easier. I just need more time.
My mind goes back to the attack. To him holding me down. To the stabs in my back with the silver blade and then …
My breaths come out as shallow pants and suddenly Natalia is right in my face. My vision tunnels and I clutch at my chest.
“Isa. Isa.” She snaps her fingers in front of me.
I can’t breathe. I claw at my own throat, desperate for air.
Natalia grabs the back of my neck and forces my head down toward my legs.
I snarl at the sudden movement, pain burning across my shoulders and down my arms. But I don’t fight her. I can’t. I still can’t breathe. But I’m cognizant enough to know I need to get my shit together. I cannot shift. I grind my teeth, riding through the wave torment from my injuries.
“Breathe, honey. Just breathe.” Her grip tightens on my neck, and inside I’m screaming for her to let go. Not to touch me. But I can’t get the words out. Seconds tick by. Then minutes as I struggle to regain control of myself.
When my breathing finally slows down, she lets go and steps back.
“It was just a panic attack,” she says as I lift my head back up.
My vision blurs for a moment but then she comes back into focus.
“Take another breath.”
I do as she tells me and when I no longer feel like my lungs are going to collapse in on me, I wrap my good arm around myself. “Thank you.” My words are brittle.
“Do you want to talk to someone? A professional?” she asks. “I can get something arranged—”
“No.” I say quickly. “I’m fine.”
She pulls out her phone and her fingers frantically type across her keyboard before she puts it back in her purse.
Then she leans down and lifts a small bag from the ground that I hadn’t noticed when she first walked in. “I brought you some clothes. Let’s get you dressed and I’ll take you home.”
I nod, accepting the bag but then I stop. “What about…?” I make a small wave of the room around me with my good arm. I’m supposed to wait for the Alpha. For Rafe’s dad. A tremor works itself up my spine.
Natalia takes a step closer and saves me from my panic. “You don’t need to worry about that today. Your father will take care of it.”
I give her a relieved, half-hearted smile. At least he’s good for something. “Really?”
She nods her head. “Really. You’re not under their jurisdiction. The Alpha and your father have an arrangement with very clear guidelines. You are under no obligation to speak with him. If he takes issue with how you handled tonight’s events, he can take it up with your father.”
Relief sweeps through me before reality sets in. “But I killed a vampire.”
Her lips press into a thin line. “You let the adults worry about that. Besides, he had it coming.”
I can’t help the small smile that curls the corners of my mouth. Because, yeah. He did.
I accept the bag and hobble toward the attached bathroom to get dressed. It’s awkward. I have a crutch under one arm, but I can’t hold the other one with my sling. Thankfully, I somehow manage.
Catching my reflection in the mirror, I jerk away as I strip out of the tattered remnants of my clothes, trying to bottle up all my emotions in the face of the battered girl before me. I’ll heal. I’m just not used to seeing myself like this. I feel … broken. Vulnerable. Weak.
I don’t like it. But I force my shoulders back. A part of me feels like if I don’t, I’ll crumble.
When I come back into the room, Natalia and Ricardo are facing off against one another. They turn to me and I stop.