“Give him a chance to explain,” Asher insisted. “I’d give anything for five minutes with my father.”
“You owe it to yourself to hear him out,” Rosie added. “For closure, at the very least.”
Pan heaved a sigh whilst I held my breath and waited for his decision.
“Fine. You have five minutes.”
Rosie slid a palm over Pan’s chest and looked up at him. “Shall I stay with you?”
With a shake of his head, he softened a little before saying, “No. You need to be off your feet. I’ve caused you enough stress these last few days already. The only time I want you exhausted is after one of our sessions.”
She blushed prettily before nodding and giving him a quick kiss on the cheek. “All right. Come find me when you’re done.”
“Of course.”
Rosie left with Asher, their heads bowed together as they disappeared.
“You too,” I murmured to Merri.
“But—”
“Go on, hellcat. I’m a big boy. I can do this on my own. I need to,” I added before she could argue. “Take the others with you.”
“If you need me . . .”
Squeezing her hand, I nodded, letting her know I could reach out to her through our bond.
Then it was down to the two of us. My son and me.
“You have my eyes,” I murmured. I’d seen him without his knowledge more times than I could count, but I’d never been near enough to take in all the details of his features. Not like this.
Pan snorted in derision. “Oh, please, let’s avoid the fake sentimentality, shall we? You might as well start with your litany of excuses. I’m sure you have them all loaded up and ready to go.” He made a show of selecting a chair and sitting down with his hands folded over his knee. “Go on then. Tell me why I should forgive you for being the poster boy for abandonment.”
If his words were a blade, I’d be covered in weeping wounds by now.
At this point, I had nothing to lose. His mother was already trying to kill him, with or without me in his life. He deserved the truth. “She told me she’d kill you if I ever tried to see you again.”
Pan went eerily still, his jaw losing some of its tension as he studied me. After several strained seconds, he cleared his throat. “Well, I must admit, as far as excuses go, it’s a strong one.” Then his eyes narrowed. “Wait. You said ‘again,’ but we’ve never met.”
“I went to her after my brother told me you’d been born. I had no idea Odette was pregnant. Hadn’t even known it was possible, but as soon as I found out, I tried to be part of your life. She made it clear that was never going to happen, and she played on my paternal instincts.” I had to suck in a breath to get the next part out. “I never stopped keeping tabs on you, but I refused to put your life at risk because of my own selfish desires. So if you hate me for that, I understand. But all I ever did was take care of you the only way I knew how.”
Distrust flashed in his eyes but was quickly replaced by understanding. “She is a horrible cunt.”
“True. The worst.”
“And she can’t be trusted.”
“Also true.”
“She told me you were some lowlife demon.”
I shrugged. “Not quite.”
“So I see.”
“What else did she tell you?”
“That a child did not align with your lofty aspirations.”