Ilet out a sigh of relief the moment I stepped through the door and breathed in the warm, damp air of the greenhouse. Moira and her coven had established quite the witch’s garden within the magically constructed glass walls.
Spotting a rare stinking corpse lily, I headed in that direction, only to be brought up short by a high-pitched squeal. Before I could figure out the source of the sound, a tiny being zoomed up to my face.
“Who are ye? What do ye want with us?” A glowing pixie no bigger than my palm hovered in front of me with all the bravado of an emperor radiating off him. “Take one more step and Tangle will slice your knob to ribbons. Isn’t that right, brother?”
“Aye!” another voice shouted from the vicinity of my crotch. “I have an excellent view from here.”
I took a hasty step back, only for a third pixie to flit around my head and join the first at my eyeline.
“Och, Itch. Isn’t it obvious? He’s here for our dust.” The female pixie started gyrating in what I sadly knew to be a twerk, thanks to a demonstration from Merri, and a cloud of holographic dust fell from her tiny body.
“Show off. Not all of us have our dust yet, Fancy.”
“Don’t feel bad, Blossom. Ma said yours will come in time.” Fancy continued twerking, getting closer and closer to my face. “You’re just a late bloomer.”
“Our Blossom is closed for business,” a third female said, streaking into view.
“Shut yer gob, Pepper. I’m the eldest. I should have dusted first,” Blossom sniffled.
“And yet, you’re the only one of us still in her training wings. So sad. So pathetic.”
A tickle of dust fell across the bridge of my nose as Pepper circled my head. I didn't know what to do. If I moved too quickly and accidentally came into contact with one of these little agents of chaos, I’d kill them. Even though they were annoying the ever-loving shit out of me, they didn’t deserve death.
“Er, Itch, was it?” I managed, my eyes warily tracking the flight path of the closest pixies.
The male who’d first accosted me puffed up his chest and planted his fists on his hips. “That’s me! Me da said it’s cause I was nothing but an itch in his trousers.”
“Lovely.”
His wings fluttered behind him, sending another billowing cloud of dust into the air. “And what’s your name? We don’t recognize ye.”
“And we know most everybody,” Tangle added, joining his brother with a decidedly moody glower across his freckled little face.
“Grimsby,” I muttered.
“Grimsby?” Tangle mocked. “What kind of sad sack name is that? Your parents should’ve come up with something much more entertaining, like... Quicksilver or Bolt.”
“I’ll be sure to bring that up to them the next time I see them.” Which would be never, seeing as I didn’t have parents.But I didn’t think opening up the door to that particular life story was a good idea.
“See that you do. A name is power. That’s what Kai said.” Blossom flitted up next to Tangle and grinned at him. “He’s so handsome. I wish he had a brother. What an adventure he’d be.”
Pepper snorted. “As if ye’d know what to do with a dragon’s cock.”
“A sight more than you, I’d expect!” Blossom shot back, her wings snapping furiously and sending more of the floating pixie dust into my face.
This was getting out of control. I’d just come to visit the garden for a bit of peace. No one warned me about a gang of manic pixies.
Another cloud of dust fell from above my head, the iridescent granules getting in my eyes and all over my shoulders before Fancy descended only an inch from my nose.
“You feel . . . wrong.”
My body heated, a strange sense of euphoria overtaking me. “Don’t touch me, pixie. You don’t want to meet your maker so soon.”
“Is that a threat?” Itch snarled, anger evident even in his high-pitched tinkling timbre.
“No. It’sss sthe truth,” I said, my words more than a little slurred.
The fuck? I glanced around, my head feeling strangely detached, and the room seemed to take a second to move with me. Like a camera frame a few seconds behind.