No.
He knew what it was tolovesomeone who wouldn’t and couldn’t ever love him back.
He could admit so much in the silence of his mind.
“Shecouldlove you,”Chalia said, and he wished she hadn’t heard that part.
“What makes you think that?”
“Because I do.”
A warmth spread through Fox’s chest at her words, and he closed his eyes, pretending he didn’t feel the prickle of wetness there. He swallowed back the emotions, but he felt what could only be described as Chalia’s mind curling up against his own, warm and soft. He fell asleep like that, the closest to content as he’d felt in suncycles.
A soft whimper woke him.It took a second for Fox to get his bearings. Despite falling asleep alone, Sofia’s soft body was now pressed against his, her curls tangled in his fingers. She was turned into him, her face in his chest and his body folded around her. Another whimper fell from her lips, and he felt her trembling in his arms.
He almost felt the scream rising through her body as her muscles tightened and he pulled her into him, tightening her against his chest. She woke up with a scream, muffled in his chest, his lips already pressed to her ear, trying his best to soothe her.
“It was only a dream. You’re safe. You’re safe.”
He felt the clammy coolness of her skin as she pushed herself away from him, her eyes wild. Only when she’d looked around the silent cave, at her fellow rebels softly snoring under their furs, did she begin to relax. But her breaths still came quick and sharp.
“Hey,” Fox said, reaching out to touch her cheek with the back of his hand, drawing her eyes to his. But he didn’t see relief there. Only a horror and fear that made his own breath quicken and his chest twist in agony.
“Fox,” she said, her voice trembling. “I—I was just?—”
He placed a finger against her lips, not truly wanting to shush her but also too afraid to hear what she was about to say. He knew exactly where she’d been in her nightmare. Who she’d been with.
“I’m sorry,” he said, voice cracking. She moved quickly, and he flinched, but she only pressed herself into him.
“He’s dead,” she said, voice muffled in his tunic. “You killed him. And I’m going to killhimtoo.”
He pressed a kiss into her curls, breathing in the scent of musk and the last remnants of her hair oil. She didn’t pull back, and he didn’t move, letting their breathing sync as he took in the sky outside the cave. There were no stars left, and he knew it was later than he’d originally thought.
He couldn’t help but wonder where General Luna and the rest of the king’s men were. He had no doubt now that the small dragonwas unintentionally leading them toward the nesting grounds. But he also knew Luna needed to lug an entire army with him.
If they could negotiate with the dragons before them, they’d have a chance of stopping this war before it started.
Or perhaps that was a stupid dream. Hadn’t the war already started? It had started when the resistance had first risen in response to the oppression of the Dragonborn, or perhaps before then, when the first king had decided it was his right to rule Wueco, or when King Mallory ordered the massacre of the dragons. And when would it end? When would the king’s bloodlust be sated?
When would Harlow’s?
No.
Fox shook the thought off. Chief Commander Harlow wasn’t bloodthirsty. He was afraid. He was doing what he thought was right to protect his people. Perhaps that’s even what the king was doing. Were they misled in how to do it? Maybe. But Fox couldn’t believe that the man who had looked at him with such love and pride would kill for the sake of killing. Even in the cavern with Eha in chains, all Fox had ever seen was fear. It was fear that kept this war burning. The Dragonborn fearing for their lives. The Dereyans’ fear of the Dragonborn, and Harlow’s fear of the dragons.
And wasn’t Fox afraid, too?
He tightened his hold on Sofia and closed his eyes, letting the feel of her calm his beating heart. She was warm against him—soft. He felt less afraid with her in his arms. He ran his fingers through her loose curls, where they’d broken from her braids. Her breath hitched as his fingertip trailed across the shell of her ear and the curve of her neck.
His fear was replaced with hot need at the sound of her breathing, turning fast and shallow. He wanted to taste the skin behind her ear. He wanted to drag his hand slowly down her body, caressing every curve, studying it carefully until he had each one memorized. He wanted to listen to the sound of her breathing forever, learning every caress that made it hitch and?—
“Sofia,” Micael’s voice interrupted his thoughts, and Fox nearly let out a groan as Sofia pulled away. She gave a long yawn, feigning wakingat the sound of his voice, and Fox took it as he cue to do the same. He stretched, pulling the furs around his lap before Micael caught sight of where Fox’s thoughts had just been.
“Yes?” Sofia said, voice soft. Fox realized that the rest of the cave was just starting to stir.
“We’ll be leaving as soon as the sun breaks the horizon.”
She nodded, discreetly squeezing Fox’s hand beneath the cloak before she stood. He watched her gather her belongings, slip on her furs, and walk out of the cave, Micael trailing behind her. He threw a single look behind him that spoke of a million threats if Fox stepped out of line while they were gone.