“I’m so sorry,” she said when the silence became too much for her.
“Sofia, you don’t?—”
“I’m sorry I haven’t been here for you. You’ve lost so much, and I’ve been so caught up in everything else. I should have asked how you were, or helped, or…”
Javi was looking at her with a sad smile and a raised eyebrow. “What did you plan on doing? Would you have broken back into the city and freed Dia when you didn’t even know she was alive? Or did you find the ability to time travel alongside that dragon out there?”
“I know I can’t do anything. I just feel like?—”
“You’re responsible for everything at all times? Sofia, you’re just one person. You aren’t responsible for all of us. You never have been. Perhaps it’s a good thing that you’re finally doing something for yourself that has nothing to do with vengeance or murder.”
“What does that mean?”
“Don’t treat me like I’m stupid, Sof. As much as I shudder to say this, I know what you look like when you’ve just had sex.”
“Oh, gods,” Sofia said, smacking him across the shoulder. “Never say that again.”
“I mean, you could do worse. I’m not going to pretend I haven’t noticed that body—the forearms and that ass.”
She covered her ears and shoved her shoulder into him, knocking them both down. But she was laughing, fully, for the first time in days—weeks. She wasn’t sure anymore.
And then she was crying, tears running down her face as shewrapped her arms around Javi, pulling him into her, pressing her face into his tunic.
“Gods, I missed you.”
“Well, don’t get too upset,” he said. “I’m not going anywhere. You can’t get rid of me that easily.”
“I promise, I’m going to stop being distracted,” Sofia said. “I’m going to focus on the mission and our work.”
“Sofia, I don’t think anything could truly distract you from our mission. You’ve been focused on killing the chief commander and destroying the kingdom since the day I met you. You wouldn’t give it up, even for a perfectly sculpted ass.”
She straightened her shoulders. “You’re right. He’s nothing compared to everything else. Just a distraction.”
Javi gave a heavy sigh, and she looked at him, not expecting his look of disappointment.
“That’s not what I meant.”
She shrugged. “It doesn’t matter. You were right. He’s a distraction I can’t afford.”
“You don’t look at him like a distraction. You look at him like you?—”
“Don’t,” Sofia said. “I don’t do emotions and I definitely don’t dothat.”
“Someday you should try it. You deserve happiness.”
“Maybe afterward. When all of this is over.”
Javi was silent for a while, eyes focused on his hands as they fidgeted in his lap. “And if we don’t have an afterwards?”
“Don’t,” she snapped, her stomach twisting at the vulnerability she heard in those words.
“I’m not saying I plan on dying,” Javi said. “And I definitely don’t plan on you dying. But perhaps you shouldn’t wait until after to find happiness.”
Sofia turned, grasping Javi’s hands in her own and holding his gaze. “I have my happiness. In you. In Flor. I promise, I’m not holding back or shutting myself off.”
His eyebrow raised.
“I’m happy. And it has nothing to do with Fox.”