She debated how to answer and finally decided there was no reason not to simply tell him the truth.
“Emma ran away right before she turned seventeen and cut off all ties with me.” She looked down the hall to makesure her daughter didn’t suddenly wander into the kitchen, but again heard nothing.
“We’ve only reestablished our relationship since Olive was born. I’m working hard to make things right with her now that she’s back in town.”
“Make things right with her?What went wrong?”
She pondered her words before she finally spoke. “Her father’s death was tough on both of us. I didn’t handle it well, I’m afraid. I wasn’t the mother she needed me to be during that time.”
She glanced at him. “You probably understand better than most people how hard it is to lose someone you loved with all your heart.”
A muscle flexed in his jaw and he seemed to focus on the cookie sheet he was washing. “Yeah. It’s a rough road.”
“Your kids seem to be doing well, though.”
“Finn had nightmares for months after Tracy died, afraid I was next. Zara kind of shut down and didn’t want to talk about it at all. I had to push her into therapy so she could figure out how to process her grief and her sadness and her anger.”
“I didn’t insist on counseling for Emma. Nor did I go myself. I should have. Instead, I fell into a deep hole for a long time and didn’t want to climb back out.”
“You must have loved your husband very much.”
“Our marriage wasn’t perfect, but he was my best friend.”
“Were he and Emma close?”
“Very. They adored each other.”
“You said he died in a car accident?”
“Yes. He was taking Emma to practice her driving when the accident happened. They were driving on the cliff road. She skidded on a wet patch of road and overcorrected. The carrolled down the cliff and into the water. It’s a miracle Emma survived.”
“Poor girl. How traumatic for her. Was she badly hurt?”
“Broken arm, scrapes and bruises. And, of course, she blamed herself for the accident, even though it could have happened to anyone.”
“Rough.”
“She needed me to assure her I didn’t blame her for what happened. Instead, the two of us seemed to drift farther and farther apart. I wasn’t there for her. I’m not sure she will ever be able to forgive me for that.”
“Sounds to me like you need to forgive yourself first.”
His words seemed to punch her right in the throat. “That’s a big ask,” she said, her voice gruff.
“You were doing your best at the time. Everyone processes grief differently. That’s one lesson I’ve learned since my wife died. Also, grief is not a straight line. It’s more like... the ocean out there. Some days, it’s calm and you feel you can breathe again. Other days, it swells and crashes, threatening to pull you under. But even in its stormiest of times, you have to remember that the tide always recedes and in time learn to navigate its ebbs and flows.”
He cleared his throat, looking embarrassed at his own eloquence. “Or so I’ve heard. I’m still waiting for those calm seas.”
She pondered his words as they finished with the dishes, even as they talked about other inconsequential things. She almost didn’t want to be done but finally they washed and put away the final dish and he drained the soapy water from the sink.
“I should go,” he said.
Was that a similar reluctance she heard in his voice?
She didn’t allow herself to wonder long. Surely she was mistaken. Instead, she walked outside with him.
“I can’t thank you enough for helping me.”
“My pleasure. It’s the least I can do after you rescued Darth Vader from a potentially horrible fate.”