He slid into bed and sighed happily.
“No, I don’t mind. Itisfunny, I suppose.” She climbed into bed next to him, pulling their blankets and quilts up over both of them. “It’s just—Tristan,haveI changed since you’ve known me? Because I think that’s exactly what’s bothering me. It never would haveoccurredto me to shout that word in any context before. Not even accidentally. I was raised to be a lady, with all that implies. I’mhorrifiedthat it just came out of me like that. Mr. Delacorte thinks we’re influencing him, but what if it’s the other way around? What if I’m transforming like the cheese Delacorte found under his bed?”
She burrowed into his arms and they both sighed contentedly.
“Sweetheart, why, exactly, are you horrified? I’m a little aroused.”
She laughed, then stopped. “Wait—are you?”
“Well, I generally am a little when I hold you like this...” He pulled her gently closer. “But no, just hearing you bellow ‘shite’ doesn’t instantly inspire an erection. But I’ll tell you why it makes me happy. Do you think it’s possible you’ve never before felt safe enough to shout that word?”
“Safe? I’m not sure I know what you mean.”
“You’ve told me before how you were raised to please, and how you’ve always been aware of the need to be proper, to conform to everyone else’s needs and expectations. But here? You’re safe here to be wholly yourself. And nothing is more beautiful to me than that, because all I want from life is for you to feel safe to be exactly who you are. So in light of all that, your ‘shite’ is music to my ears. It makes me feel like I’ve done my job in making you feel secure.”
“Oh, Tristan.” She was moved; she shifted to kiss his shoulder. “Do you know, I think you might be right.”
“Delilah, I know you hold yourself to an exacting standard, but I promise you do not have to be flawless.Ido, but you don’t.”
She snorted softly and gave his ankle a little nudge with her toes. “Silly. Youareperfect, however.”
It was his turn to snort. “I would love you even if you were Delacortian in nearly every way.”
The “nearly” amused her. “You’re legally required to. For better or for worse are right there in the vows.”
He laughed shortly. “If Daniel had pinchedme, I’m afraid I might have punted him over the banister out of pure reflex. You were well within your rights to add to his vocabulary in such a colorful way. And while I can’t call out a four-year-old for pinching my wife’s arse, he needs to know in no uncertain terms that such behavior is neither appropriate nor allowed. He needs to understand that it’s disrespectful.”
“What if his father does it, and that’s where he learned it?” she whispered. “Pinches women. Or at least pinches his mother.”
Tristan went still a moment. He sighed heavily and laid an arm across his forehead. “Regardless, we have to say it to him and hope the lesson sticks before his father gets here. I think we have a responsibility to the world at large to curtail a bottom pincher if we can.”
They silently reflected on this.
“I could do it. I could tell him,” Tristan said. “I want to. But do you know, briefly, I almost wanted to die, when he burst into tears when I spoke to him that first time. Themortification, Delilah. And trust me, more than once I’ve made a grown man cry as blockade captain. That was part of my job. It’s child’s play for me. I’m hard as bloody nails. Or I can be. So... why did it destroy me?”
“My poor dear.” Her husband wasnothard as nails, not all the time, but that was their secret and she cherished it.
“He looks like a damned puppy. Christ, his eyes filling with tears. The lower lip quivering. The horror.”
Delilah was trying not to laugh. “I’m so sorry.”
“Delacorte and Bolt say I have alook.”
“The stern one?”
“You know it, too?”
She merely squeezed his hand.
“I was raised by the military, as you know. Giving and taking orders was about the extent of the affection exchanged.”
“If we are so blessed, you will treat any child of ours the way you treat anything else you love. Like me. You don’t order me about, do you?”
“That’s because I want to live to see another day. Also, I want to die when you cry, too.”
She laughed softly. “You’re going to have to be stern now and again, and that’s how he or she will feel safe and know how much you care. And I will be so grateful, because you know I struggle with being stern.” It was true; Angelique, a former governess, was considerably better at it, in an amusing way, and all of their servants knew it. “Any child we might have will have the perfect balance of parents.”
“Marchand says that between me, Bolt, and Delacorte a child raised here would get everything he needs from a father.”