He noticed. He was quiet.
“So,” she finally said. “Your son. I take it you’ll be making a quick visit to Newgate Prison to visit him?”
That was a risky joke even for her.
He turned to study her.
“I’ll be going to visit him where he’s been since he was five years old. Under a stone at Broadview Cemetery.”
Holy. Mother. Of God.
She squeezed her eyes and fists closed against the brutal jolt of shame. It was like being dropped from the top of a building.
She sincerely wishedshewere under a stone in Broadview Cemetery. Anything,anythingto avoid experiencing the excruciating aftermath of her hideous glibness.
Her entire torso was on fire from mortification.
There was literally nowhere to hide from her own awfulness.
“Mr. M-Marchand... my God... I’m...”
She cracked her eyes open. His eyes were brilliant with wry hilarity and crinkled at the corners. He shook his head to and fro. To and fro. The bloody man was mercilessly, thoroughly enjoying her discomfiture.
“I would never want you to be anything other than who you are, Ginny.”
“A perfect arse?”
“That, too.”
She exhaled a gusty breath and squeezed her eyes closed. “I really am terribly sorry. About what I saidandabout—”
“Oh, for heaven’s sake. I know you are,” he said affably enough. “Thank you.”
But he wasn’t all right.
He’d been handed a baby last night and what she’d witnessed was a man struggling not to come apart in front of other people. He’d bolted from that room because he’d needed to be alone with the enormity of his memories. He was suffering stoically, but greatly, such that his usual aplomb was no match for it. It showed. Only a little, but it was revealed in the tension in his face and the shadows beneath his eyes.
She was suddenly frantic to do anything she could to help ease it.
“Well, let’s go and visit him,” she ventured softly. “Unless you’d rather go by yourself... because you think I’m too much of an ass.”
He quirked the corner of his mouth. “Don’t you have a busy schedule of annoying people today?”
“Do you really want to risk letting me wander about the ton on my own?”
A smile briefly haunted his lips. He didn’t move, and he didn’t reply.
She was stunned to realize that he was, in fact, steeling himself for the journey ahead of him.
And it slashed her heart.
She rested her hand softly on his arm. “Gabriel,” she said gently.
He glanced down at her hand, then slowly up at her. His expression suggested wonderment. His breath was held.
“I’m coming with you,” she said.
Chapter Fourteen