Regardless of what she told him, her father had clearly been distressed for her. And he felt a little guilty. But his position was awkward, indeed: he was disinclined to suggest the man who had saved his entire family from penury had subsequently cruelly abandoned his daughter. Alexandra knew he felt he hadn’t a right to confront the colonel. Alexandra had assured him that she was content with the conditions of her life, and wanted for nothing. And this, on the face of it, was true, too. At least as far as material comforts were concerned.
“This is what I propose,” Brightwall continued calmly. “Over the next week, we will appear together at several functions—a ball, a banquet and reception, a statue dedication—to be held in my honor, and present ourselves as a united, committed, entirely civil and civilizedcouple, thereby putting paid to any malicious gossip and restoring, to the extent possible, dignity to the Brightwall name. At the end of this period, you will then travel as planned to the United States. You may recall that I own an estate near New York, near, in fact, where your brother now resides.” He paused. “I’ve long thought someone should be in residence to look after the home and the lands. I have been considering going to stay for some time, when my duties allow it. Instead, I should like you to stay there.”
Her breath was coming shallow now.
“For the duration of my visit to my brother?” Her mouth had gone dry.
The eloquent pause betrayed his answer before he said the words.
“For the rest of our lives.”
He said it almost gently.
The world seemed to tilt; shock flickered her vision from brilliant to black and back again.
“I will deed the New York property to you, and settle upon you a single sum large enough to live for the rest of your life in a manner both comfortable and gracious, including the keeping of horses, if you choose. You will be at liberty to hire your own staff and make decisions about purchases. To the extent possible, you will thenceforth be entirely free of me.”
Her breathing had gone shallow.
She couldn’t feel her limbs.
Had she expected rapprochement?
Had she even wanted it?
“So I’m to be sent to Elba, is it?” Her ears were ringing. Her voice was pitched unnaturally high.
“New York is no longer the wilds, nor is it isolated, nor will you be alone. And unlike Napoleon, you did not preside over the slaughter of thousands of Englishmen.”
“No. Just the one apparently,” she said bitterly.
He didn’t reply.
He did, however, look a little white about the mouth.
He clearly wasn’t enjoying this, either. Just as he probably hadn’t relished ordering deserters shot. It was simply something that had to be done.
“And if I do not want to stay there?”
Her dread swelled anew at his lengthy silence.
“Your income will be reduced to an amount required to purchase necessities. As for housing, I imagine you will be able to live with your sister and her husband or with your father, should he return to England.”
He said it quietly.
He had clearly thought everything through. Naturally.
A fleeting, blindingly pure hatred for the man sitting in front of her flashed through her.
He had no obligation to be generous, of course. But until the end of her days or his, he would be required to financially support a woman who was his wife in name only. He could go on to have children with a mistress one day, if he chose. So many men did.
No such option remained to her. She could of course bear children, or take a lover. But that would mean living on the outskirts of respectablesociety for the rest of her life, and the taint of that would touch everyone in her family.
Her breath seemed to scrape her lungs on its way in and out.
It was hideously unfair how profoundly he excelled at not blinking.
“If you tell me you’re happy with your life as it is... I will know you’re lying, Alexandra.” He said this almost gently. “It seems very clear that we are not a successful match. I have learned from warfare that life is short and that wallowing in regret is... such a waste of time.”