“That’s hilarious!” Louis crowed. “Who’s the lucky girl who has you doubting yourself like you’re some ordinary schmuck?”
This was what passed for sympathy among his friends.
“If I tell you, I’ll never hear the end of it, and God knows you talk more than any of us want to hear, Louis.”
“You’re a catch, Caldera. Probably the most eligible bachelor in Hellcat Canyon. Since I was taken out of circulation, that is.” This was Bud.
“Yeah, that’s a dubious distinction. Who would be in the bachelor pageant? Me, Truck Donegal, Giorgio the grill cook at the Misty Cat?”
“Weshouldhave a bachelor pageant!” Louis announced.
“What?No, we shouldn’t.” Gabe was alarmed. “You’ve been breathing a little too much paint thinner, dude.”
The conversation lulled, filled with clinking sounds and “Pass me that Phillips head” and the like.
“It’s just... she’s a little... squirrelly,” Gabe ventured.
He knew it was risky talking about her. But the fact was, if he didn’t talk about her, he might go mad.
“You’re not talking about an actual squirrel, are you?” Mike wanted to know.
“What the hell is wrong with you? No. Pass me the torque wrench.”
“I’m just saying you’ve been single for a while. No one would blame you if you wanted to get a squirrel for company. They’re personable pets.”
Gabe lifted his head to stare at him for a long time. “Okay.”
“She pretty?” Bud wanted to know. Maybe it was his age, but Bud used words likeprettyinstead ofhot, which Gabe kind of appreciated.
Gabe opened his mouth to answer.
Then closed it again.
And said nothing.
Because he felt likeprettydid a disservice to Eden. The problem was that he couldn’t really think of her in terms of simple adjectives. He thought of her more in terms of how she made him feel, likewantandsoftandsmileandlike, the kinds of words Koko the gorilla would sign to indicate her needs. He experienced her on averybasic, very fundamental level.
“Ooooh, he’s got it bad,” Jordie crowed.
He scowled at them and twisted a screw on Jordie’s wheelchair. “I don’t know why I say anything to you people.”
“Listen, whoever she is, if she’s single... you got nothing to worry about,” Jordie soothed.
That was kind of sweet, actually.
“Of course she’s single. I’m notthatkind of guy. Not gonna moon after another man’s woman.”
“Then the only kind of guy who could give you a run for your money is someone like... oh, someone like Jasper Townes.” Louis pointed at the flyer for Townes’s side project, Black & Blue, on the bulletin board for an upcoming Misty Cat gig. Those flyers were all over town. “Man, I’d even do Jasper Townes.”
“That guy from that stupid meme?” Lloyd scoffed. “Puhlease.”
Jasper Townes had indeed starred in a meme a couple of years ago. Something to do with John Mayer and an airport? Gabe couldn’t quite remember now.
There ensued a noisy verbal division between jeering, mock horror, and a rumble of assent.
Gabe didn’t think he’d be willing to do Jasper Townes, who admittedly did have something. But hedidlike Townes’s band, Blue Room, kind of a lot.
“He’s got that snaky-hipped thing going. Kinda like Jim Morrison or Jagger or Axl Rose. Like he’s not a man or a woman but a...sexcreature,” Jordie claimed.