But he finally stepped back.
His eyes were closed. But he opened them again right away.
“Sweetheart, I won’t grovel. And I won’t be back.”
And then he was gone.
CHAPTER23
She lay still for a long, long time because she didn’t want to move yet.
She was vaguely aware she was lingering out there in order to savor the last of his presence, like an echo.
Somewhere through her hungover hurt she had the vague sense that she’d done something horrible to J. T. Possibly something worse than he’d done to her.
She’d been her best self with him, and somehow the threat of losing him had turned her into her worst self.
But look at what he’d given her, in the process. A community who cared about her. Actual friends. A revived libido. A clear willingness to display her art in public again. A refreshed lust for competition. A renewed respect for the dangers of alcohol.
It was all good, and all because of him. But she thought she’d trade all of it plus a kidney if she could only turn back time to two weeks ago, and stop it right there.
She finally stirred when her phone rang. She could move without throwing up now, she found out, so she went into the house and answered it.
It was Casey.
“Oh my God, Britt, Rebecca Corday came into the Truth and Beauty today! I nearly had kittens!”
One day she would tell Casey that she’d drawn her as a lioness. One day, possibly even soon, she’d show her the drawing she’d made. Casey would like it even more than the bunny face, she was pretty sure.
“Yeah? What did you tell her about your Bunny Face?”
“I told her I passed out on the bus bench and the same vandal did to me what they did to her. And we commiserated over it.”
Britt didn’t think she’d ever laugh again, but she laughed then. Just a little. “I knew you could handle it. You’re the bomb, Casey.”
“No, you’re the bomb.”
“I think I’m too old to drink like that now, though, Casey.”
“That’s okay. We can go the movies and do other things that adult women are supposed to do. We can quilt.”
Britt smiled faintly and then the smile died.
“He’s gone, Casey.”
Casey was quiet a moment. “Oh, sweetie.”
Another silence, rich with sympathy.
“We’ll talk about it later, when we’re both all the way sober.”
“Okay,” Britt said in a near whisper.
There was a brief little silence.
“Did you get to blow-dry her hair?” Britt said finally.
“I did. I was surprised. It’s kind of thin. She probably doesn’t eat enough.”