But more than that, it releases the tension I can never seem to shake from my muscles and bones. Tension that tells me even though the marriage stuff is out there, I still have secrets I’m keeping. Big secrets. Secrets that could shake everything I’m fighting to build and hold on to.
I toss off my clothes one by one and quickly throw on a pair of shorts and sneakers. A minute later, I’m jogging down thestairs, refusing to look at her door as I go to my gym. I run five miles on the treadmill, do fifty pushups, a hundred crunches, and beat the ever-loving fuck out of my heavy bag.
I don’t know how long I’m in here, but by the time I head back upstairs, my muscles ache and my mind is too tired to fight.
Braelyn’s door is still closed and for a moment, I hesitate, only to say fuck it and go to her room. I knock on the door, but she doesn’t answer and in my anger and frustration at her ignoring me, I twist the knob, storm in, and come to a screeching halt.
Empty. Her room is empty and dark, as is her bathroom. And closet. Holy shit, all of her clothes are gone. She left. Braelyn not only left me, but she snuck out, and what the motherfuck am I supposed to do with that?
“Shit!” I pace her empty room, my fists balled up on top of my head. The mind-twisting furious need to put my fist through the wall is compelling, but I manage to hold myself back. Just barely, but I do. I need to call her. This isn’t what we do. This isn’t who we are. We don’t ignore each other. We don’t walk out on each other. Lovers or not, she’s my best fucking friend, and you don’t do that.
Goddammit, Braelyn.
I race down the hall to my bedroom, anxious to get my phone, when I come to another screeching halt. Braelyn is on my bed in only my favorite Rebels hoodie and a pair of knee-high black fuzzy socks with her e-reader in her hand as if nothing is amiss in the slightest.
She glances up at me, and the smile she had slips instantly. Her e-reader hits the bed, and she sits up, alarm all over her face. “What’s wrong?”
“What are you doing in here?”
She blinks at me, confusion and uncertainty replacing theconcern. “Um… well, I just thought…” She glances around the room, shifting uncomfortably. “I mean, in Mexico, we were sharing a bed and you said you loved me and that you wanted…” She trails off and releases a shaky breath. “I should have talked to you about it before I moved in, I guess. I’m sorry. You’re right. I totally took liberties moving my stuff in here, but you were in the gym after I’d packed up my suitcase and I didn’t want to bother you. You looked like you were training hard.”
“You came down to the gym?”
She chews nervously on her lip and looks up at me through her lashes. “I didn’t know where you were, so I went to look for you and found you there. I figured you needed the workout, so I put my stuff in your closet. You only use the large one, and the smaller one was empty. But if that’s not?—”
Before she can finish, I cross the bedroom and my hands are in her hair and my lips are fused with hers. I kiss her and kiss her and kiss her because holy shit. Holy fucking shit, she wasn’t ignoring me. She wasn’t pulling away. She didn’t leave. She moved her stuff into my room because she’s mine and she knows it and she wants that too.
I pull back, kiss her forehead, then press mine to hers. “I thought you left me. You came upstairs after everyone left and were really quiet and then you shut the door to your room. I thought you were pulling away from me, so I went to work out because I didn’t know what else to do. When I came back up, I went into your room and found you gone and it empty.”
One hand covers mine on the side of her head, the other rests on my sweaty cheek. She doesn’t seem to care about the fact that I’m dripping in sweat.
“I’m so sorry. When we came upstairs, I was lost in my thoughts with everything that had happened today and over the last couple of days. I didn’t really think about it. I just kind of went on autopilot, and when I snapped out of it, you wereworking out so hard, I figured we’d talk when you came back up.”
I blow out a breath. “The way I love you scares me. I can’t lose you, kid. Not ever. This just proved it to me.”
“You won’t.” She swallows, licks her lips, and meets my eyes. “I love you too. I didn’t think it was possible to say this to someone so soon, and I certainly didn’t think it was possible to mean it, but I do. I love you.” She licks her lips. “So much.”
“You’re sure?”
She smiles and laughs lightly. “I’m positive, Roman. I know what you’re asking and why, but the way I feel about you is nothing like how I felt about Adam. The thoughts I have about you, the way I think about us, all of it is so different. Being with him was a transference of how I felt about Nash. I didn’t know it wasn’t right until it ended, but I don’t think I would have knownyouwere right unless I had gone through all of that first.” She kisses my lips. “I lost so I’d know what I never want to lose again. And that’s you. I never want to lose you. Not ever. You’re the love of my life.”
In a flash, I cover my mouth with hers, my hands on her hips as I drag her to the very edge of the bed. But I’m tall and bent in half and she’s sitting and wearing only my sweatshirt, which is a damn sexy look, but not as sexy as her naked. I grasp the hem of the hoodie and rip it up and over her head, our kiss only breaking for a second.
She’s so beautiful. And tastes so sweet. Her tits fill up my hands perfectly with just enough space that I can squeeze and play with them. She was made for me.Meantfor me. All our moments, the good and the bad are what brought us here.
Braelyn’s hands drag along my back and a giggle tickles my lips.
“What?” I ask, trailing down her neck to her tits where I take a nipple in my mouth.
“You’re so sweaty.”
I release her nipple with a wet pop. I pull off her fuzzy socks that are both ridiculous and adorable. She’s only in her thong now, which works nicely for me.
I stand, extending my hand to her. “Then come shower with me.”
She takes my hand, her eyes dragging up and down my chest before she shakes her head.
“What? What’s that look for?”