“I love you so much,” Asher murmured against Levi’s mouth, his free hand cradling the back of Levi’s neck. “I’ll always love you. That’s why I need you to cum for me. Show me you still love me too, baby.”
“Fuck, I can’t—” Levi moaned.
“You can, and you will. Just this once, for me?” Asher captured his lower lip, sucking on it gently. “You feel so fucking good. So perfect—”
He quickened his strokes around them both, thumb teasing Levi’s tip while feeling his own cock throb in response, the pressure building dangerously. Levi’s hands landed on Asher’s shoulders, no longer pushing. Asher could sense it—the shift, the surrender building like the heat coiling in his gut. “Cum for me, Levi. Be a good boy and let go.”
Levi shook his head, but his hips betrayed him, rocking faster into Asher’s grip. His fingers dug into Asher’s shoulders, gripping hard—the telltale sign, his body’s decision to ride the wave his mind fought. He was trembling, breaths coming in short, desperate catches, every muscle tense, his whines growing louder and more desperate.
“No more, no m—oh god, fuckI’m—” he gasped, his face bright red as his mouth fell open.
“Look at me, Levi,” Asher panted, grabbing at Levi’s hair and tilting his head back. “I want to watch you fall apart. Say it. Say my name.”
“I’m going to—going to cum,” Levi gasped, meeting his gaze. He looked…deliciously frightened. Overwhelmed. Like he was going to fall to pieces and let Asher pick up the pieces. “Asher, please, wait—I don’t want to, I don’t want to…fuck, Asher!”
The orgasm ripped through him, his body arching, spasms wracking him as Asher stroked them both through it, milking every drop out while clenching his jaw against his own edge.Fuck, the way he looks, the way he sounds—it’s everything. Asher moaned into Levi’s mouth as he spilled over both of them. Levi’s release mingled with the water, swirling down the drain, but Asher held him close, murmuring praise against his temple.
For a few seconds the bathroom was water and breathing and two bodies holding each other up because neither could stand alone.
Then Levi started crying, his fingers still digging into Asher’s shoulders, pressing his forehead against his collar, and Asher just held him.
He always held him when Levi’s mind struggled with this part. The after. Levi was shy, so Asher had learned the crying was part of him overcoming the shyness. He was going to get his Levi back, one teary orgasm at a time if he had to.
“I’ve got you,” Asher whispered, wrapping his arms around Levi. “You did so good. You did so good for me.”
Levi cried harder.
Asher closed his eyes and held him under the water. The shower was warm. Levi was in his arms. Everything was perfect.
38
Overwritten
Hesatonthecouch in clean clothes Asher picked for him and tried to feel like a person.
His skin still buzzed where Asher’s skin had been, and he wasn’t even sure why he cried like that. Asher had done much worse things to him in the game, but he felt…wrong. He still hadn’t even wrapped his mind around the concept of Asher being…Asher, and suddenly he was pressed against the tile, moaning with Asher’s name on his lips and it all feltwrongto him. It had to feel wrong to him, because Asher wasn’t just a guy in a game with personal boundary issues.
Asher was a real life person who murdered someone.
And, more shamefully, Levi was still scared none of this was real. If he was hallucinating, or still in the game, and all of this was fake, he wasn’t sure he could survive a second heartbreak.
In the game, Asher had always been in motion. Running, fighting, grabbing. Even when he was resting at the resort, it was usually following something big and intense. But Asher inhis apartment? Asher was a different shape — one ankle crossed over the other knee, hands in his lap, taking in all the details of the cramped space Levi called home. His hair was still damp and combed back with his fingers, and without the blood, without the scalpel, he looked like a man sitting on a couch in the middle of the afternoon.
The observation was so ordinary it almost hurt; Levi shut his eyes so he wouldn’t have to notice it anymore.
He fell asleep at some point. The apartment was dimmer and the light from the window was lower when he opened his eyes, but Asher was still there at the other end of the couch, watching him.
He didn’t move. He was lying on his side with his cheek against the cushion. Asher’s eyes were warm in the way Asher’s eyes got — too much warmth for the face of a man who had killed someone yesterday should have. Levi’s mouth was dry. He didn’t want to talk. He was going to have to. “How long was I out?”
“Five hours.”
“You just — sat there?” Levi pushed himself upright and a blanket slid off his shoulder. It hadn’t been there when he fell asleep, and the realization that Asher probably dug through his things to find it for him landed somewhere under his ribs and he set it aside to deal with never.
“I watched you sleep.” Asher said it like it was an ordinary thing to say. “I haven’t gotten to do that out here yet.”
Levi closed his eyes and took in a deep breath, but when he opened them, Asher’s face was closer to his.
“You have morning breath.” Asher leaned in another inch. “I’ve never smelled it before.”