“Now that we are husband and wife, you must call me William,” he said as he watched her slide gracefully into one of the two chairs at the table. “And I shall call you Catherine.”
He remained standing behind her, wanting to put his hands on her shoulders and run his thumb along the curve of her neck. He had been longing to do it all evening. She gave him a furtive look over her shoulder, uncomfortable having him where she could not keep watch on his movements.
“Why don’t you pour?” he suggested.
She did as he asked, then took a long drink.
“Let me help you take off your headdress.” He leaned down and whispered, “I want to see your hair, Catherine.”
“My maid can do that.” She reached up quickly, as though to prevent him from touching it. “I will call her.”
“Don’t.”
She began to unfasten the headdress, but her hands were shaking so violently that William took over the task. When all the pins were out, he lifted the headdress off and set it on a nearby stool. He uncoiled the thick braid from around her head then loosened it with his fingers.
Her hair was still damp in places. He sank his fingers deep into the waves and shook her hair free, releasing the scent of wildflowers. Closing his eyes, he put his face into her hair and breathed in until he was dizzy with the smell of it.
He pushed the hair aside to kiss the delicate curve of her neck. At last. Another woman would have sighed and leaned back into him, or turned and pulled him into a deep kiss. But his new wife remained rigid.
So much for his resolve to calm her with conversation before touching her. He sighed, knowing he should not have lost himself like that. Sinking into the seat beside her, he took her hand. He was glad for some physical connection, however tenuous.
Catherine covered her eyes with her other hand. To his bewilderment, her shoulders were shaking. She was weeping! After what seemed like an eternity to him, she seemed to recover herself somewhat.
“I am sorry,” she said in a tremulous voice. “I do not mean to annoy you.”
What was he to do with her? He patted her hand, which seemed so small in his, and waited. He felt desperate, but he could think of nothing else to do. At last, her breathing steadied and she dropped her hand from her face. She looked at him cautiously from red-rimmed eyes and attempted a smile.
Even this small sign caused hope to spring up in his heart.
“I wish I did not frighten you,” he said.
“You are not to blame.” She spoke so softly he had to lean forward to hear her. “My husband… Lord Rayburn…” She cleared her throat and tried again. “He was not a kind man. I had cause to fear him.”
“If you truly feared him, how could you risk betraying him as you did?” He knew he was being blunt, but he found it hard to believe her.
“I had to.” From the way she pressed her lips together, he could tell this was all the answer she intended to give him.
“In what way was he unkind to you?” William asked.
“It would distress me to speak of it.”
He did not want to upset her just to satisfy his curiosity. “You need not speak of it. But I would have you know, you need not be afraid of me.”
He patted her hand again, since that seemed to be the only thing he could do to soothe her.
What now? It did not look too promising a wedding night, with her so pale and miserable beside him. He’d never forced a woman. He was not going to start now with his wife. In his youth, he’d seen soldiers rape peasant women. As a commander, he prohibited such vile behavior in his men. It violated everything a knight should be.
He rubbed his hands over his face and gave a long sigh. “Perhaps you are too soon from your sickbed to make a marriage bed,” he said, pushing a stray strand of hair behind her ear. He paused to give her time to contradict him before giving her his final dispensation. “God willing, we have many years of married life ahead. Tonight, you must sleep.”
The relief in her eyes hurt his pride.
“Thank you. I am so very tired,” she said, rising from the table.
He grabbed her wrist. “Catherine, it is important that everyone believe we consummated our marriage this night. No one must think we are not fully bound.”
“Yes, of course,” she said, pulling away from him.
Good Lord, she looked as if she intended to run before he changed his mind. He stood and rested his hands firmly on her shoulders.