“Mmm,” she murmured, leaning back against him.
“I know why you came riding with me that night at Monmouth,” she said. “You were afraid of what would happen if you carried me kicking and screaming to the keep.”
“Aye, that was one reason.” He chuckled, remembering, and rubbed his chin against the top of her head.
“But later, after just one kiss, I wanted to forget my honor and steal you away.” He closed his eyes and tightened his arms around her. “That is what made it so hard for me to believe about Jamie’s father. If I’d had you in bed even once, I could not have left you as he did. I would have killed Rayburn and defied the king if need be, but I could never have let another man have you after that.”
After a time, she asked, “Why did you come with me this time? What made you change your mind about keeping me in the castle?”
He took a deep breath and let it out. “I wasn’t hovering over you because I thought you were weak,” he said, though it was hard to admit. “I did it because I knew I was.”
She turned around to face him. “You don’t have a weak bone in your body, William FitzAlan. What can you be talking about?”
“I never felt true fear until I knew Edmund had you behind that barred door. And then, when I saw you covered in blood and believed you were dead…” He swallowed hard against the memory. “I was lost in a darkness so deep I thought I would never come out of it. And I did not care if I did.”
She took his hand and held it against her cheek. “I should have realized how it was for you to find me like that.”
“I would not change you from the strong, bold woman I love, but you must help me find my way,” he said, wanting to make her understand. “Twice I have nearly lost you. I live in fear another disaster will befall you—and that when it does, I shall fail you again.”
“You are a good man, William. A man of honor.” She slipped her arms around his waist and rested her head against his chest. “I do not know why God chose to bless me by making you my husband, but I am very grateful.”
Later, as they rode back to the castle, William felt light, as if a burden was lifted from him. A feeling of happiness welled up inside him. They pulled their horses up in a clearing to take a last look at the river. When Catherine suddenly threw her arms up to the heavens and laughed with the same joy he felt, he knew he had all he ever wanted.
They stopped in the hall to warm their hands before the hearth. As soon as Catherine could feel her fingers and toes again, she raised an eyebrow at William and cocked her head toward the stairs.
When they reached the solar, he removed her cloak and wrapped a blanket around her shoulders.
“ ’Tis late,” he said, and kissed her forehead. “You must be tired.”
She pulled away from him and went to the door to slide the bolt. Then she turned and gave him her best wicked smile.
“What is it?” William asked.
She nearly rolled her eyes, the man was so thick.
Keeping her eyes fixed on his, she dropped the blanket at her feet. She began undoing the buttons at the back of her gown. When he rushed over to help her, she grabbed the front of his tunic and pulled him against her.
“Kiss me.” It was not a request.
He gave her a slow smile, then leaned down and brushed his lips against hers.
She was having none of that. Clasping her hands behind his neck, she gave him a kiss to remember. When they finally came up for air, she grabbed his belt before he could get away. She unfastened it and slipped her hands under his tunic and shirt. When her fingers touched warm skin and rough hair, she smiled.
Victory was within her grasp.
William grabbed her wrists to stop her. “What are you doing?”
“You did tell me I would have to help you find your way,” she said, fighting a grin, “but I thought you would remember this part.”
He released her wrists and took her face in his hands. “I do not think you are ready for this, love.”
“Oh, but I am.” She tilted her head back for another kiss, confident he was losing his will to fight her.
When she felt him melt into the kiss, she ran her hand along his erect shaft. He sucked in his breath and tried to pull back. She drew him deeper into the kiss and lifted his hand to her breast.
Thankfully, he did not need further direction.
She was breathless when he turned her and lifted her hair to finish unfastening her gown. He kissed her neck, sending thrills down her spine.