Another night like last night and she feared she would not be able to hold out. She had been powerless for so many years in her marriage to Blackadder that she clung to this bit of control that her new husband had granted her over her body.
The joining had been the very worst part with Blackadder. She had loathed it so much that she had learned to divert him with her hand and mouth. Though she was still a wee bit fearful, she expected it to be different with David—so different that she found herself looking forward to it rather fervently.
The man had sensual weapons that he wielded with as much skill as he did his weapons of war. Nothing had prepared her for this. While her body’s responses were thrilling, the emotions they stirred overwhelmed and frightened her.
Each time, she felt as if she revealed a secret part of herself that left her vulnerable in a way that she had never been with Blackadder. And, as satisfying as the sexual release was, she was left with a hollow feeling, as if she had a hole in her heart, a void that cried out to be filled.
Love was a girlish notion that she and her sisters had spoken of for hours on end when they were young and foolish. She did not hope for love, but she wished she could have the sort of marriage her parents had. She remembered how they shared their burdens, how her father sought her mother’s counsel on important matters.
She sighed to herself. The prospect of having that sort of marriage with Wedderburn seemed unlikely. Outside the bedchamber, he spoke little to her, beyond a few banal words at meals. When he saw her about the castle, he followed her with his eyes, his desire fairly scorching her skin. As much as that excited her, she’d come to the conclusion that he desired her that much precisely because she denied him.
Once she gave in she would lose the only leverage she had to draw him closer.
She sighed as David slid his hand along her side, a simple gesture that twisted her heartstrings. In truth, it would take so little for him to persuade her.
***
Damn, she was a stubborn woman.
Three more days had passed and still Alison resisted the inevitable, just as she had when he laid siege to the castle. David watched her sleep in the dawn light slanting through the narrow window. One would never guess that such a sweet face hid an iron will. He kissed her forehead, careful not to wake her.
Each time they were in bed, he felt closer to his goal. And each time something caused her to retreat. Usually he had no notion what he had done or said that led her to hold back.
For a man who had never had to work to win over a lass, it was a humbling experience.
But Alison did want him. He could tell that from her sighs and moans, the way she clung to him, the desire in her eyes. She had her reasons for making him wait—for making them both wait. He just needed to overcome them.
It had become almost a game between them, one that was both frustrating and tantalizing. Alison satisfied his physical need with her hand or,dear God, her mouth. And yet he never felt satisfied. He wanted to make her his, utterly and completely. He found it difficult to think of anything else.
She was weakening. They both knew she could not resist much longer. Once she finally gave herself to him, he would lose this constant, raging desire and be himself again. In a way, he would miss the heart-stopping anticipation. After imagining it so often, the simple act of sexual congress could never meet his expectations.
He twined a silky strand of Alison’s midnight hair around his finger and tried to quell his unease about leaving her. Cochburn had sent word that he was ready to lay siege to his nephew’s castle. The wiser course would have been for David to consummate the marriage at once—and repeat the act as often as he could. The sooner Alison conceived, the better.
Many a marriage had been annulled at the behest of a well-connected family who claimed, rightly or wrongly, that the marriage had not been consummated. Once Alison carried his child, however, she would be good and truly bound to him in the eyes of the world—and in hers.
The realization that this was the reason she continued to resist him hit him like a fist to the chest. Ach, he was a fool. Alison still hoped to escape the marriage. Why else would she allow him to pleasure her in every way but the one that led to conception?
She does not want to bear my child.
David could not completely stifle the hope that there was a different explanation for her continued resistance, but he must keep up his guard.
If Alison gave herself to him freely, if she risked conceiving a child with him, perhaps then he could trust her.
But not before.
***
Alison opened her eyes to find David staring down at her and rested her palm against his cheek. A few days ago his stern expression would have frightened her, but not now. She wanted him to tell her his secrets, to share his troubles, to tell her everything that made him the man he was.
Instead, he rolled on top of her and gave her a fevered kiss.
“Let me make love to ye like I want to this time,” he said, his breath hot on her skin. “Don’t torture me any longer, lass. Surely I’ve given ye enough time.”
He had been more patient than she had a right to expect. And his passionate kisses, stroking hands, and erection jutting against her thigh were quite persuasive. Why was she waiting for something he might never give her?
“I must leave today,” he said, desperation in his voice. “Don’t let me go unfulfilled.”
He was leaving?