“I was scared he wouldn’t like me anymore… and if he didn’t like me anymore, maybe the other teachers… or Master Derek… or Master Beau wouldn’t like me anymore either. I-I just found this family. I don’t want to lose it,” Palmer blurted. Now that the truth was out, she felt very small and in her very vulnerable state, there was only one person she wanted. “Can you please call Master Beau for me?”
Chapter Seven
Beau sat in the aftercare room, gently rocking the exhausted Little girl. When his friend called him and told him she had his Little one in the aftercare room and that Palmer was asking for him, he hadn’t hesitated. He hadn’t cared he’d been in the middle of a podcast. After ending the live stream without explanation, he’d made his way across the building in record time. Palmer had needed him and he’d come. He’d always come.
Catherine hadn’t told him what Palmer needed, just that she’d had a hard first class. He’d expected a tired Little girl, but when he laid his eyes on her, she just looked defeated and that had broken him in more ways than one.
He hadn’t asked any questions, just scooped her up and promised her he was there. She’d fallen asleep that way and he’d let her. Beau continued rocking her, hoping when she woke she’d realize he’d always come.
While she slept, he replayed Catherine’s words over and over. “Palmer said, ‘I just found this family. I don’t want to lose it’,” and maybe he’d shed a few tears over those damn words. He knewexactlywhat Palmer was feeling and he’d do anything in his power to take the burden away from her. The sucky thingabout healing was it didn’t come overnight… or in Palmer’s case in eight weeks.
Palmer stirred against his chest, but Beau didn’t speak yet. Instead he patted her bottom, letting her be the first one to speak.
“I’m sorry,” Palmer finally said, her voice still broken from exhaustion.
Beau wondered how many times she’d already apologized today. How many times she’d blamed herself for things that weren’t her fault. He was sure the number would make him nauseous. “For what, baby?”
“Because I was bad.” Palmer curled into his chest a bit more.
Though her words have been spoken softly, they were sharper than any knife could be. “You. Are. Not. Bad.”
“I am. I got into trouble in class, and I accidentally called Master Grayson ‘Ma’am’ and I ran away.” Her words were so sure and confident they almost sounded defiant and Beau found himself wanting to destroy anything and anyone who had put the weight of that shame on her.
Cupping the back of her head, he pulled her tighter against him. The smell of strawberries filled his nose and he found the scent perfect for her sweetness.
“Nothing you do, now or ever, can make the people—the good people,” he corrected, remembering her foster parents, “stop loving you, Palmer. Not talking in class, not accidentally misspeaking, not even running away. Good families—real families last through anything, honey.”
Palmer’s slim fingers reached up and played with the collar of his button up.
“I was scared that...”
“Go on, baby. You can tell me anything and everything.”
“I was scared that Master Grayson didn’t like me anymore… and…”
Beau pressed a soft kiss to her curls. “I hear you. I’m listening,” he encouraged. “Nothing you say is wrong as long as it’s the truth.”
“I was scared that if he didn’t like me anymore, then others wouldn’t either…. That maybe you wouldn’t like me anymore too.”
The vulnerability in her voice almost stripped Beau raw. His chest ached now that he’d uncovered her real fear. “Palmer, listen to me, baby.”
Her eyes widened and her lip trembled, but Beau continued knowing there was nothing more important than what he had to say. “You are ours, baby. You have always been ours. It doesn’t matter that it took eighteen years to get you here, you were made for all of us on this Ranch. You are so good—so genuine. You are kind, helpful, brave—so fucking brave. I promise you that every single person at Rawhide Ranch has been touched by your kindness at least once. I’m so damn sorry we didn’t find you sooner, but I promise we areneverletting you go. You're ours forever.”
“Forever?” she whispered, so unbelieving, Beau felt like his heart was being cracked in two.
“Forever, baby. No matter what your friends do in class. No matter if you make mistakes. No matter if you misspeak. No matter if you get scared and run away. No matter what. You are safe. You are loved. You belong here.”
“Even when I mess up?”
“Even then,” Beau promised firmly.
Palmer tucked her head back under his chin and he let her, knowing his words needed time to marinate in her fragile heart.
“It’s okay if you need to tuck my words into your pocket. I’ll be here every day to remind you, little one. I promise.”
Much later, after accepting Master Grayson’s apology, another snuggle, and a snack, Palmer played on the plush rug in Beau’s employee apartment. He’d finished moving in the night before and it felt good to have a place to call home again.
“Help?” Palmer asked, holding the baby doll he'd purchased for her earlier out to him.