A young waitress Palmer recognized to be Claudia Marie came to take their orders and Palmer sat quietly looking out the window at the spectacular view while Master Beau placed their order. She liked not having to order for herself.
“Would you like that, Palmer?” Master Beau asked.
Embarrassed, Palmer hesitated. “I’m sorry. I didn’t hear the question.” Tears pricked her eyes. She was such a dummy. “I’m sorry,” she said again. He probably thought she was so rude.
“That’s okay, honey. I like the view too. It’s so pretty, isn’t it?” he asked as he turned her chair so she could see even more.
“I’d never seen the mountains before.” Palmer didn’t admit she hadn’treallybeen looking at the mountains.
“Before you came to Rawhide?”
She nodded.
“Where did you live before?”
“A f-foster home in Georgia.”
Beau turned her chair around again, this time to face him.
“That was hard, huh?”
“B-being in foster care?”
This time Beau nodded.
“Yes, Sir. It was really hard.”
“You know from my lecture I was also in the foster care system.”
“Was it hard for you too?”
Beau stroked her face gently and she leaned into his touch. “It was very hard. I often felt like too much and not enough at the same time.”
Palmer knew what he meant. She felt that way a super lots.
“Sometimes I still feel those yucky feelings crawling around inside my brain,” he said.
“I don’t know what to do. I never… I mean… I had to do so much, but now I’m here and everything is so much harder and I don’t understand,” she rambled. Thankfully, he looked like he understood.
Chapter Five
Beau’s heart knew exactly what Palmer was saying. “You spent so much time taking care of yourself, you don’t understand why you can’t now. You think it shouldn’t be as hard because you’re not in constant danger now.”
Palmer nodded. “Master Derek said he thought I was in recovery mode.”
“I believe he’s right. Your body is so tired of fighting that it can’t anymore.”
“Did you feel that way too? Once you were out and safe?”
“Can I hold you, honey?”
Palmer’s eyes widened in surprise, but she nodded.
Wrapping his arms around her tiny body, Beau lifted her onto his lap and held her tight. “It breaks my heart to know you didn’t feel safe,” he said into her curls.
She wrung her hands nervously before settling them on his arms.
He wasn’t surprised touch was hard for her. “I didn’t have the burnout you’re feeling because I still needed to take care of my sister, but she did. Everything was hard once we were on our own. She struggled to do even the most basic task. It’s very common for people like you two.”