Prologue
Eight Weeks Earlier
Eighteen-year-old Palmer Presley pressed herself tightly against the dryer, trying to get warm. Water dripped from her hood onto the cracked linoleum floor. She was completely soaked and chilled to the bone from the rain she’d trudged through just to access the spotty WiFi in the laundromat. With trembling fingers, she opened her email on her dilapidated prepaid phone, praying to see something from Rawhide Ranch. The Montana-based ranch was the only bit of hope Palmer had in her life. It was a community of people just like her and it prided itself on giving people with similar interests a place of belonging. Palmer’s greatest wish was to belong. In four months, she would be kicked out of the foster home she’d been staying in–not that she’d ever considered it a home. The state of Georgia only allowed her foster parents to receive an income for her until she turned eighteen or she graduated high school. Luckily for Palmer, her birthday was earlier in the year, so while she was eighteen, she was still in high school. Her foster parents had made it clear, she wouldn’t be allowed to stay past May twenty-eighth. Palmer hadn’t been surprised by their declaration. She’dnever been under the illusion she was more than a check to them.
In the six years she’d been with them, they’d never come to a school function, celebrated her birthday, or even shown any interest in her other than as a punching bag. Her arm throbbed as a reminder of her foster father’s abuse. His anger along with her foster mother’s drinking was a toxic combination.
Palmer’s mother had been very alone in the world. When she died, Palmer had been placed in the foster care system. Her foster family didn’t care that she had no money saved or even a decent place to go. Once the checks from the state stopped, so did her being able to stay under their roof. She could go to a group home, but she’d heard the horror stories, and while her foster father was an angry man, at least he’d never tried to be sexual with her.
Rawhide Ranch was her only way out of this mess. During her grief counseling, she’d met a lovely couple. Hadley and Finn had a relationship that just drew Palmer in. Finn did things for Hadley like cutting her donut into small pieces and blowing on her hot chocolate. Hadley sat in his lap and he patted her bottom. Palmer knew why they were so interesting to her. Because they fit into the type of books she preferred to read—Daddy books.
She loved reading about strong Mommy and Daddy Doms and the Littles they adored. One day, figuring she had nothing to lose, she got up the nerve to ask them if they knew what DDlg was. At first, Finn seemed taken aback and Palmer was instantly sorry she’d asked, but Hadley had taken her hand and pulled them into a private room. They’d talked for hours, well past when grief counseling was over. That was the night Palmer discovered Rawhide Ranch existed. Hadley and Finn had told her about the magical Ranch and had even put in a good word for her with the owner, Derek Hawkins.
Palmer hadn’t dared tell them how bad things were at home, but Palmer was sure they were suspicious. She was often bruised and hungry. It didn’t take a genius to tell she was in a bad situation.
At the thought of food, her stomach growled and Palmer pressed her fist to her belly, trying to get it to be silent. She hadn’t eaten since lunch Friday at school. It was now Sunday afternoon. The small bit of money she made from tutoring wasn’t enough to feed her and save for the unknown, so she just kept it tucked inside her bra at all times. Her foster father didn’t know she made any money. He thought she was the one needing tutoring. She prayed he never found out she had straight A’s. She realized the irony of hiding good grades from parental figures but she couldn’t risk him taking what little money she had.
Ms. Hammond approached her and held out a large blanket and a few granola bars. Palmer’s face heated in shame, but she accepted the items from the kind woman who allowed Palmer to hide out in her laundromat. Accepting help was so hard, but Palmer had learned quickly not to turn it down. Rubbing her wet hands on the soft jacket Hadley had given her, she tucked all but one of the granola bars into her jacket pocket.
“Stay. Get warm,” the woman said, nodding.
“Thank you, Ms. Hammond.” Palmer often promised herself that as soon as she could, she was going to give back to Ms. Hammond. She was always so kind to Palmer and never judged her for taking up space in the small laundromat.
Tearing into the granola bar, Palmer scanned her emails and cried out in relief when she read the words, “Welcome to Rawhide”. She’d been accepted! Burying her face in the soft fleece, Palmer sobbed before scrolling through the images. Beautiful landscape, soft animals, and welcoming hearts, it all sounded so wonderful. Tears rolled down her face as she looked at all the amenities she would be offered. She didn’t care aboutany of them—well, maybe she cared about still earning her high school diploma. She mostly just wanted to be safe and wanted again. Heck, she didn’t care if she was only tolerated at the Ranch. Being tolerated would be better than the situation she was currently in.
She opened the internet app and quickly located the bus route she would need to take to get to the Ranch. Pulling the wad of cash out, she calculated she had enough for most of the journey. Even if she had to hitchhike a bit, that would be okay. Tucking the money back in her bra, she folded the blanket and set it on a dryer. Pulling some paper and a pen from her school bag, she jotted a quick note thanking Ms. Hammond for her help and explaining she’d found some family she was going to stay with and wouldn’t be back. It wasn’t enough to repay the kind woman for all she’d done, but Palmer knew she’d understand. She’d want this for her. Leaving the note under her blanket, she picked up her backpack and walked out the laundromat’s double doors into the rain.
Zipping her jacket and pulling up her hood, she headed toward the bus station and a better future. Palmer wasn’t brave enough to believe everything was going to change, but for the first time in averylong time, she held a tiny flicker of hope.
Chapter One
Beau Williams sat in the plush chair in front of Derek Hawkins, owner of Rawhide Ranch, trying not to look as nervous as he felt. The knot in his lower belly felt exactly like the time a stubborn old mule had kicked him. Beau was used to being in front of thousands of people, but somehow the Ranch Master made him more nervous.
Beau was a motivational speaker who had come from foster care. He’d had no favors in life, and when he turned eighteen, he’d been given a few hundred dollars and a half-hearted “Good luck, kid”. It had been a struggle to find his way and become as successful as he had. He blamed his past for many mistakes, but despite the trauma, he had made something of himself and wanted others to know their past didn’t define them either. He started with a blog, then a few social media channels, and his podcast followed soon after. Over the years his platform had grown and grown. Now he was a full-time motivational speaker with a following of over fifteen million.
He’d only been at the Ranch for six weeks and his chest already tightened at the thought of leaving. Rawhide Ranch, created by Derek’s great-great-great-grandfather and his twin brother, was such a wonderful place. It offered safety, education,entertainment, and most importantly, a sense of family. Growing up in foster care caused found family to be really special to him. He admired Derek’s ability to give people that. Not even his best lecture on overcoming your past could give people a sense of belonging and he envied the good Derek was doing in the world. Well, not envied it, just wished he could do it as well.
“I’m impressed,” Derek told him.
The Ranch owner’s words shocked him enough that Beau just sat there blinking.
“I’m sorry?” he asked after a moment, almost believing he’d imagined the praise.
Derek just chuckled in that knowing way of his. “When my wife approached me and said she felt like we needed you to come to the Ranch, I didn’t know where she was coming from. Clearly, the Ranch has counselors and a lot of people here are pretty open about sharing their pasts, so I couldn’t see her vision, but after sitting in on your seminars the last few weeks, I agree.”
Derek leaned back in his chair, threading his fingers behind his head. “I’m not too proud to admit when I make a mistake. I had a wonderful upbringing surrounded by uplifting people and while I do pride myself on the beauty and healing the Ranch brings people, I’d never considered hiring a motivational speaker for others who struggle with where they came from. Your sister could have been any of my members looking for a place to belong and I was touched by that. I’m so sorry for what happened to her and I admire your bravery for sharing both your stories.”
The familiar feeling of grief filled his stomach as Beau remembered his younger sister. Beau and Ansley had only had three years together after leaving the foster system before her murder. Her death had been talked about on multiple news outlets. The online stalker who had killed her had shown nomercy and her death had been terrible. Beau was still dodging true-crime podcasters who wished for him to be on their shows. He would never agree to them. Ansley’s life had been more than just content. Her death went back to that sense of belonging most people in foster care never received. In looking for acceptance and companionship, she’d stumbled upon a sick individual who had taken her life. Beau shivered at his memories.
“I don’t think I will ever stop missing Ansley, but the grief gets more bearable every time I do a seminar. I feel like I have a little more closure each time I am able to help someone. It’s why I use my past on my platform,” he said, instead of sharing his dark thoughts.
Derek nodded. “I know she would be very proud of you and I imagine you help more people than you could even imagine.”
“I certainly hope so.” That hope had kept him going over the last few years. Hope and his work were the only things that kept his grief from swallowing him whole.
“Have you enjoyed your time here?” Derek asked.
Beau nodded, thankful their talk sounded less like an interview. Some of his nerves dissipated as he reflected on his time at Rawhide over the past several weeks. Derek’s family had built a truly magical place. “I have. Immensely.” He’d taken a few classes, enjoyed new foods, ridden a horse, and enjoyed playing with his pseudo-niece, Pippi, and her Little friends. The memory of her dragging him around to meet her friends put a smile on his lips. Being Uncle Beau Bear meant so much to him.