Any time someone had said that before today, I'd brushed it off. I hadn't let the words settle over me and penetrate my soul. But today was different. I was finally hearing the meaning behind the words they were saying. I wasn't a charity case. I had something to offer, and they loved me like a brother. "Thank you."
He raised a brow. "That's the first time I've gotten that reaction. You don't want to brush me off or tell me how wrong I am?"
I shook my head, blowing out a breath. "Nope."
He squeezed my shoulder. "You're finally growing up."
"I'd like to think so." I wasn't sure what I was supposed to do about Aspen.
Maverick opened the door.
"Are you saying that you're okay with me being with Aspen?" That seemed almost too good to be true.
"You have to be the man she deserves. In this case, that means believing you're worthy of what you have and want in life. That part is up to you," Ford said.
Before I could say anything else, they disappeared out the door. And I was alone again. I sank onto the couch, running my hand through my hair. Would she give me a second chance when I'd said our relationship was a mistake? I hadn't stood up for her or us.
I'd let her down. Was there any coming back from that?
Chapter 23
Cooper
I went back to work, feeling a little embarrassed to have cleaned out my office only to return a week later. The Sterlings had said I needed to figure out what I wanted, but what did that matter if the person I desired didn't return the sentiment?
The sign on the front door had been removed, and a new one was commissioned that read Sterling Brothers and Kimbell Contracting. In the meantime, there was a temporary sign that made me feel good every time I walked into the office.
They'd already changed the letterhead and email signature line. It felt good to see my name next to the Sterlings as if I was truly an equal partner. I'd been content to be behind the scenes. I hadn't realized how much it affected me to not be listed. I accepted it, but internally, it reinforced my belief that I was somehow less worthy than the Sterlings of owning and being involved in the business.
But now, I was a true partner. I already earned an equal share of the business, and everyone would know that.
I wasn't sure what to do about Aspen. Her brothers had said not to do anything if I didn't think I was worthy of her, and I wasn't sure that was something I could fix overnight. Did my name on the door really change anything inside?
Wasn't I the same person I'd always been? A boy scared that his dad was going to show up at any minute and take everything I'd worked so hard for? Maybe there was a reason I was okay with my name not being on anything. Then Dad wouldn't know to come after me.
There was always a possibility that he'd given up on the life of stealing from his family, but I had a feeling we were always a backup plan for him.
I hadn't gone to Sterling family dinner the last two weeks, thinking it would cause unnecessary drama.
I was hoping to get a feel for where Aspen’s head was at. I wasn't sure how to approach her and apologize. It seemed too easy to text and ask to talk.
I'd never been in a relationship where I cared when we broke up. We usually went our separate ways, and I was fine. But this time, I was walking around like a zombie, trying to do the same work but missing important details and finding myself thinking about her all the time.
Love was all-consuming and had the power to wreck me. I'd been willing to walk away from my job, my livelihood. The thing that held me back from talking to her was that conversation with her brothers. They'd issued the ultimatum that I couldn't be with her if I felt unworthy.
That's where I was stuck. I wasn't sure how to get around that. When did someone feel worthy? Was it even possible for a guy like me? Wasn't it enough that I was in love with her? Now I had to heal that little boy inside who never felt good enough. That felt like an impossible feat. What if I never believed I was worthy?
I drove to the Sterlings' family home later than usual. I didn't want to be alone with her parents. What did they think about us dating?
I parked next to the row of red trucks with the new logo. I waited there for a few seconds, unsure what to do next. Should I go inside, or was this a bad idea? Maybe I should have talked to Aspen alone first, saving myself potential embarrassment.
When Maria appeared on the porch, I sighed, getting out of the truck. I approached her, my stomach sinking. Maybe she didn't want me here.
I spoke before she could. "I can go."
Her brow furrowed. "Why would you do that? You haven't been here in two weeks."
I looked away, unable to hold her gaze. "I wasn't sure if you wanted me here after everything."