He smiled with pride. "Sometimes, I can't believe I have a family. A year ago, I was single and happy to be that way. Then I rescued Angela from the flood, and my world opened up. I love both of them. So much."
There was something about the open affection in his voice. It affected me. For a second, I wanted what he had. A woman to love. A child to care for. But I'd vowed that I wouldn't subject anyone to what I'd gone through. Who's to say I wouldn't be the same kind of dad as mine? I shared his DNA. But I didn't share those fears with Hudson. He couldn't possibly understand.
I allowed myself to imagine coming home to a woman, and Aspen's face popped into my head. She'd greet me at the door with a hug and a kiss, then lead me into the kitchen for dinner. Or maybe she'd take me upstairs to bed. My heart warmed, and my chest cracked open a little to the possibility. I couldn't let myself want what Hudson had. We were too different. He knew what a relationship should look like, whereas I only had a dysfunctional example.
"I'm looking out for Emery. I don't want my dad to hassle her once he finds out she's in college."
He raised a brow. "He'd do that?"
"He always seemed to know when we had a little extra money. He'd show up and demand we give it to him." I felt hollowed out from this conversation. This feeling was why I avoided sharing these kinds of details with anyone.
"I'm sorry you went through that."
I shrugged. "It's fine."
"It's not though. It clearly shaped who you are today."
I blanched at that characterization. "How so?"
"You're more reserved, less trusting of people. You worry if you open up to anyone, they'll use that information against you."
I gave him a look. "How'd you get that?"
He sipped his beer and thought before he spoke. "I don't know for sure. I just suspect that's the case. What do you think?"
"You might be right." But at the same time, I didn't want to think about the whys. What did it matter anyway? I kept myself apart from most people so I wouldn't inflict my particular brand of dysfunction on anyone else.
"And it might be holding you back from connecting with people. Especially if women say you're unreachable."
"I'm not particularly interested in dating anyway," I insisted.
"You might change your mind one day."
"I highly doubt that," I said, even as Aspen's pained expression in her office today popped into my head. She had been upset, and I'd accused her of intentionally sabotaging our arrangement. But what if she was doing the best she could and missed my email? Was I being fair to her?
"You got any new projects for us, Cooper?" Morgan asked, bringing me back to work.
"There's a historic inn and winery located at the base of the mountain called the Hart Inn. They offer hiking and event rentals, like for weddings and conferences. They even have a restaurant on site. They reached out to see if we could update the inn."
"You want me to handle it?" Morgan asked.
"No. I got it." I needed a diversion, something to keep my mind off of Aspen.
"I love that you handle the administrative side of things, but if you ever need help—" Morgan said.
I had no plans of burdening the Sterlings with my job responsibilities. I was so grateful to have this job; I'd do whatever it took to prove I could do it. Even if it meant long hours. What else did I have to do anyway?
I wasn't a good boyfriend, and Emery was away at school, so there was no family here for me to worry about, except my mother. I liked to check in to ensure she had enough money for utilities and food in her fridge.
"It would be nice to have another large contract. It's not a town, but they have a lot going on at this property: tours, weddings, and tastings. From what I understand, there are other historic buildings on site that they might want to develop for the business."
Morgan shifted on his stool. "You think this could be like the town contract? They might need us for ongoing work?"
"I do." When I got the call, I was immediately intrigued. It wasn't a business I was familiar with, but then again, I wasn't one to go to a vineyard or stay at an inn for a romantic getaway. I didn't have time to go hiking or explore the various adventures in the area.
"What's the name of it again?" Maverick asked.
"Hart Inn. The website says it's a family-owned establishment. But it wasn't always an inn. Originally, it was just a mansion that the family resided in. They don't just cater to the inn's guests. Hikers are welcome to stop by their gift shop and eat at the restaurant. So it's not fancy. It's more of a casual dining experience," I said from memory.