I reached for the pizza again, just for something to distract me, biting into the lukewarm slice, the tang of meat and cheese making me moan softly.
“When was the last time you had pizza?”
I finished my bite, wracking my brain. “I have no idea. When we were dating in the early days, maybe. Before he pointed out my weight problem.”
Lissa’s eyes narrowed at me. “Weight problem? Was that news to you?”
Was she being cruel? Did she agree with him? No. She was kind, she wouldn’t do that.
“I was a little curvy, I guess.”
The shrewd look remained right there in her eyes. “And you liked your curves? You were happy with your look?”
I stared at the pizza, mentally calculating calories for a moment. Was I?
“I… I thought I was.”
Lissa pointed at the pizza. “Don’t let it get cold. It’s so much better when it isn’t. Let me tell you what I like about pizza, while you eat it. It’s naughty. It’s decadent. It’s a real filler-upper. I swear a few slices of pizza and I’m good for the night, but wow, am I good. All that gooey cheese? Pepperoni? Chunks of beefand ham? I mean, what’s not to like, right?” While she talked, I was just devouring the pizza slice, and when I’d finished, she was smiling at me.
“Good, huh?” I nodded, surprised I’d just eaten the whole slice like that.
She got up from the sofa, and for a moment, I panicked. Was she leaving? I wasn’t sure I was ready for that. She’d take the brief peace with her, and I’d be adrift again.
“I’m going to grab us each another slice, and our drinks. Stay there and think about what other foods you miss. We’re going to try them all!”
Huh. While she was gone, I thought back over the years I’d been with Sean. She was right. I missed so many foods. So many things that he’d told me were bad for me. Things that made me fat, and ‘men don’t like fat girls’… those were his words. They don’t like us. I was too fat for him, so he remade me the way he wanted me. Starved me of my favourite foods, reduced my meal sizes, locked away snacks he allowed himself but I couldn’t have. Why did I let him do those things? Why was I so weak?
Lissa slid my plate back into my hand, another slice of the meaty pizza ready and waiting.
“I warmed it in the microwave for a few seconds, so watch it’s not too hot.” She set our drinks aside and picked up her plate. “Let’s devour our pizza, then we can plan some more snack sessions.”
And just like that, I felt like maybe I could eat this second slice. Maybe I wouldn’t get too overweight for someone to love me. Maybe.
Chapter Six
Ice tapped the hiddenlatch with a sly grin at me, and dragged the door open, staring down the stairs into the dark space which lit up automatically when he put a foot on the first step.
“Knew it’d be cool. Do you, like, plan world domination down here? Oh… or is there a kinky porn room you use? I think I’ll be disappointed if there isn’t now.”
Was it wrong to want to push him down the damn stairs ahead of me? I wrapped my fingers around the doorframe so I’d resist the urge.
“Prepare yourself for disappointment, brother. It’s just a man cave.”
As we reached the bottom of the stairs, he let out a low whistle as his eyes scanned the room in seconds, and I considered what he thought of my set up. There was a leather modular sofa in front of the large TV on the wall, the sofa built into a three sided arrangement for optimal viewing. The pool table and dart board were sitting there unused, because when I built this room Iexpected to have people to hang with, and then I realised I didn’t like anyone in the clubs. Until now at least. This became my own mini clubhouse, but it wasn’t the same.
“Is that a pinball machine?” He pointed and I shrugged. Guilty pleasures and all that.
There was a mini-bar in here, and a coffee machine I rarely used, because I stayed upstairs. Then there was the steel door he focused on.
“Gun room?”
I nodded warily. What was their stance on guns? I hadn’t seen any at the club, but surely they had some they weren’t supposed to. Huh. That risked my own licence if I was caught with any, but that was a problem for another day. Right now I knew nothing, and was assuming so much.
“You gonna show me, or what?”
I groaned and stepped around him, tapping in the seven digit code for the door, and pressing my thumb against the reader.
“Very sexy security measures, man. Makes me horny.”