“China, please. It’s too early for me to be laughing. Leave her alone. She doesn’t know how crazy you are.”
“Well, she’d better catch up fast. If you’re gonna hang with us, you’ve got to be ready for whatever.” China flipped her ponytail over her shoulder for dramatics.
“Oh, I don’t mind. My favorite aunt nicknamed me Roxy when I was younger, but when I got married, Aaron said it was trashy.”
The more she talked about her husband, the more annoyed I became. He was the Caucasian version of Kalvin, and if her life was a mirror of my future, I wanted no parts of it.
“Well, Aaron’s uptight ass isn’t here, and I’m not calling you no damn Roxanne.” China huffed, then began to eat her food. The three of us laughed and ate our breakfast together. Once the boys finished eating, Roxy took them to the bathroom to wash their hands and use the bathroom.
“How are you feeling since last night? You were awfully quiet the rest of the night.” China probed. She was right. After my run-in with Kyon, I completely shut down. I hadn’t expected so many emotions to rise to the surface, but it was a whirlwind of feelings brewing within my heart and mind.
“I’m still working through things. I tossed and turned last night until I finally broke down and popped a sleeping pill. My stomach was in knots most of the night, but I feel better this morning,” I admitted. Every time I closed my eyes, I saw his face. His perfectly handsome face. I hated the way his presence sent me into a freeze after so much time had passed. He didn’t deserve any reaction from me, but I couldn’t control my body, mind, or heart.
“I know you probably don’t want to hear this, but I’m your cousin, and we don’t sugarcoat things for each other. You need to talk to him, Lai. Aht, aht, before you come for my head, hear me out. When you first left, I minded my business and let you heal before you dealt with what happened. You had every right to make whatever decision you thought was necessary for you,and I stood by you wholeheartedly. Personally, I would have set the house on fire, but you’re much nicer than me.
“The point I’m trying to make is, it’s been three years. Even if you don’t think you need closure, based on your reaction to seeing him last night, I would have to disagree. There are emotions there, and I think you owe it to yourself to at least look him in the eyes and tell him how much his actions hurt you. Whatever happens afterward will be up to you, but a conversation needs to take place.”
“You’re probably right, but I don’t want to talk to him. He’s had three years to talk to me, but instead, he allowed me to walk away. Honestly, I’m not sure it would have mattered. What he did was unforgivable, and there is no explanation he could have given that would have made the pain hurt any less. I came here to have fun and unwind, not be reminded of my past.”
“Well, you must have pissed someone off on the other side, because here you are stuck in the middle of the ocean with a man you almost pledged your life to.”
“Why do I feel like you’re not on my side?” I whined, knowing China would give it to me straight with no chaser.
“I’m always going to be on your side. You’re my best friend and one of the few family members I fuck with, but as your favorite cousin, I owe it to you to keep it real. I’m not telling you to go and jump the man’s bones. Well, unless it’s what you want to do. I believe in my heart that Kyon truly loved you. I saw the way he cared for you, and he went above and beyond to keep a smile on your face. Men can be very conniving and deceitful, but I’ve always felt like something was off about what happened. Have a conversation with him, and then you can make a decision on how to move forward. If it’s still fuck Kyon afterward, then that’s what it will always be.”
I understood where she was coming from, even though I didn’t necessarily know if I wanted to go through with it. Kyonhad been a sore spot for me for so long that I didn’t know if I was strong enough to look him in the eyes and talk about the hurt he caused.
Roxy and the boys returned to the table, and she seemed much lighter than before. I was glad I stepped in to help, because she was actually a cool person.
“What are your plans for the rest of the day?” I questioned. “China and I were going to tour the ship and maybe find an activity. From what I saw yesterday, they have a few hot tubs, there’s a spa, a gym, and they have a couple of stores to shop in.”
“I’m not sure. Aaron is here on business, and he wants me to help him with something. Plus, I have the kids, so I can’t do much,” she replied solemnly.
“The hell you can’t. They have a daycare for small kids, and it’s open until late. Sign those babies up and let them play while you unwind. This isn’t a business trip for you, so there’s no reason why you shouldn’t be able to enjoy yourself,” China urged.
“I agree with her. There are too many perks and resources here to help kids and parents both enjoy themselves. You don’t have to spend all your time wrestling these boys, and I’m sure they would much rather spend their day playing with kids their own age in an area catered to them,” I explained.
“I don’t know. I should probably run it by Aaron first to see what he says.”
It was clear she wasn’t used to going against his wishes, and I wasn’t going to interfere.
“Okay, well, I’m going to give you my number, and if you want to link up later, then let me know.”
She handed me her phone, and I put my number inside and sent a message to myself. Service wasn’t available on the water unless you purchased the package, but since we both had iPhones, we were able to message over Wi-Fi.
We said our goodbyes, then she headed off with her boys and her husband’s plate in tow. My heart went out to her because it seemed as if her life was completely wrapped up in her family, with no time for herself. No woman should have to go through that, especially when she was in a relationship.
“Alright, heffa. It’s after nine in the morning, and I would like to do some day drinking while we figure out where we’re going to chill for the day. I know they have some places on the upper decks with beach chairs for us to lie out. I want to get some sun and show off my new bathing suit,” China expressed.
“I’m with it. I need to head back to the room to change into my bathing suit, but I’m down for a day of drinks and relaxation. It’ll keep my mind off of the two men currently wreaking havoc in my life.” I huffed, standing from the table.
“Well, one of them we can push overboard and solve all of your problems, but you’re not about that life.”
“Girl, you’re always talking about committing a crime. At this point, I wouldn’t be shocked if you already have a few under your belt.”
“And you’ll never know because you’re a scary hoe and you’ll probably sing like a canary if I tell you.”
“China! I can’t believe you would say that.” I clutched my invisible pearls while laughing.