My stomach bottoms out. The pieces of our fucked up puzzle are finally slipping into place, showing me what I’ve been missing all along.
“He denied I was his. Accused her of sleeping around with other men at the hotel, guests, people outside of work. Fired her without notice and told her to never contact him again. It’s not a special situation; it probably happens to women all the time. But she couldn’t afford an abortion, couldn’t go to her parents. Had no one and nothing… so, she had me.”
“Baby, I’m…” The words don’t come because what can I say? Sorry, doesn’t begin to touch the magnitude of my remorse for reigniting that suppressed trauma for her.
“I’m sorry.”
Hearing those words pass her lips is a sucker punch to my solar plexus.
“Jesus, what the hell!” She squeals when I hoist our bodies up to sit against the headboard, placing her in my lap.
My hands find her face, demanding her full attention, before I say, “You have absolutely nothing to be sorry for. I’m a careless asshole. I knew something else was going on. I should have tried harder to make this conversation happen weeks ago, but you wouldn’t talk to me, baby.” I breathe, my defeat seeping through.
“I know. That’s why I’m sorry.”
She gives me a small smile and a shake of her head when my lips part to chide her again for her apology. She knows me too damn well.
“Trenton showing up was never the problem. That poor boy could be someone else’s completely, and I’d still want to take care of him. The things he’s been through, what he’s seen, Vik…” Her eyes grow glassy, tears threatening to plummet off her lashes. “That baby needs a safe home for however long we can get him to stay.”
“Shh, I know. He’s not going anywhere, mama.” My thumb wipes a stray tear away from her beautiful face that’s lit from the moon coursing through the half window.
“Good. Because we’d have bigger problems if he were. I shouldn’t have pushed you away, but I didn’t… I didn’t realize what all of this was about until I’d already dug my heels in. And you know how I get.”
The scoff rattles my chest, earning me a playful slap. “Hey,you said it.” I shift forward, dropping a quick kiss to the tip of her nose. “You know I love your stubborn streak.”
“Now you know. My mom left me with some serious issues. Why do you think I smother the shit out of Haley? I never want her to wonder if she’s wanted or loved, because she’s my absolute world. Those scars I know, and I handle them. I just wasn’t expecting you to throw me into a spiral of daddy issues I’d repressed, but here we are. And yeah, I’m sorry.”
“No more apologies, Josie. I was a stupid kid back then, and if I’d been half the man I am now, I wouldn’t have let Miranda disappear before I knew for sure. If I’d known…” I let loose a heavy sigh.
“I know. Even then, if you’d known, you wouldn’t have been like my dad, Vik. You’re a good man, now and then, babe.”
“I love you, Josie. More than I need my next breath.”
“Is that so?” She throws me a mischievous smile that lights her glassy eyes. “How about you show me just how much?”
In a quick blur of movement, I splay her out on her back, thighs spread to fit my frame.
“Anytime, baby. Any. Fucking. Time.”
Her laughter cuts off with a gasp as my tongue traces through her slick heat, and my world finally shifts back into place.
YOU ARE THE FATHER
JOSEPHINE
Life is settling—kindof. Or at least, it’s starting to feel like the ground beneath my feet isn’t shifting anymore. The tension that’s been coiled tight in my chest for weeks is finally starting to unravel like I so desperately need. The strain in my marriage has lifted, leaving space to deal with the other issues afoot.
Being honest with Vik was long overdue. I should’ve done it sooner instead of letting my temper and pride twist a hard situation into something so much worse. He didn’t deserve my ire, didn’t deserve the cold shoulder or the sharp edge of my tongue. I was exhausted of feeding my stubborn streak just to prove a point he was oblivious to.
Now, I can breathe again.
The late-afternoon sun filters through the backyard, blinding but comfortable for this time of year. Sitting on the back porch, one leg tucked beneath me in the wooden rocker, as I use the other to keep up a steady pace of back and forth. I take in our little slice of heaven, which I never could have imagined for myself as a girl.
I’ve been thinking about her a lot the last couple of days, and the what-ifs of my life had I never met Vik. But nothing good ever comes from lingering too long in the unknowns. This is my life, and at the end of the day, through surprise kids and unwarranted arrest, I wouldn’t want it any other way.
I take a long gulp from my glass of iced tea, which sweats against my palm. The condensation drips lazily down my wrist, cooling my heated skin.
“Hey, baby, be careful with that,” I call out, my voice carrying across the yard.