Savannah and Sutton contort their faces from the image of it.
“Appreciated.”
“The leasing office also wanted to know if you’ve reviewed the lease renewal? There’s new language about building liability after the incident.”
A long exhale leaves me. “Not yet. I’ve been a bit… occupied.”
“Alright, well, have a nice day, and let me know if you need any help moving anything back in.” He happily bids us a good day and leaves.
I feel my friends' eyes heavy on me.
“Uh-oh, that was just added to your mountain of current life choices,” Sutton taunts in a loving way.
I rub my forehead, already exhausted, and I haven’t even made it to the office yet.
Savannah affectionately touches my shoulder. “You’ve already made the choices, you just need to safely wallow in them before admitting it.”
The problem is that my brain and heart are so fogged up right now that I’m not sure I’m even wallowing.
I’mcurious as to how long Hayes has been staring out his office window to the sky with flurries of snow, hands in pockets, deep in thought.
“I think your work avoidance is my fault,” I announce from the door.
He glances briefly over his shoulder at me. “I'm not sure it's a good sign when you drop by my office. You are a fan of office boundaries.”
Slowly, I close the door and step into his office. “Boundaries, rules, laws—does it matter? You make your own.”
He turns around, and his gaze is sharp, going straight through me. “It was an error from the lawyer,” he repeats with insistence. “When I first found out about Lola, it’s what any smart man would consider.”
I sigh heavily. “Fair enough. But those documents are a little reminder that you can dangle taking custody over my head like a fucking carrot.”
“And one could argue that you’re with me only so that I don’t use the fucking carrot,” he seethes, clearly hurt from my words.
I cross my arms to keep my body in check; he might see how much I hurt right now. I’m doing my best to stay firmly in place because I’m not weak.
He pinches the bridge of his nose out of frustration for his turn of mood, and with one sigh, he returns to somberness. “I wouldn’t. Deep down, you believe it, too. We’re past that stuff. Now it’s you and me, on the same road together.”
I run my tongue along my teeth to give me a second. Alittle more cooling down is still needed. “Anyhow, I just wanted to say or ask, considering that’s how joint custody would work,” I mock, “I want to take Lola to Everhope. My parents have seen her less than normal since they’ve been giving us time to let us three bond, fall in love, all that jazz,” I say dryly. “Do I have your permission?” Now, I’m plain flippant.
He rolls his eyes. “You never need permission when it’s about her family. Your parents will love seeing her.”
“Good. We’ll be back sometime later in the weekend.”
“Sure.” He lifts his shoulders.
My eyes squint because I’m skeptical as to why he is so calm. “That’s it?”
“Should I be doing something else? I’ve explained what happened. I’ve said sorry. I’ve made it clear already for a long time what I want. You don’t need to worry about the document. And I love you,” he says. “That means the ball is in your court, and if you need a little space, then fine. I’m not a fan of that approach, but it’s what I’ll do for you… only you.”He taps his fingers on his perfectly clean desk.
It makes me angrier that he is remaining calm throughout the last five minutes, and he hasn’t even once touched me. I miss his touch. It feels cold between us without it. Maybe I was expecting him to rush and try to persuade me to forgive him this very instant. I’m not used to Hayes being the one with patience.
I swallow the lump in my throat. “I just need time. Do you know what it feels like to run through every scenario for two years, and then you get the one you want only for a flicker of the bad? Because that's what this is.”
He doesn't respond.
For a moment, our eyes catch and linger. It’s not even tense; it’s somber, yet hope is laced somewhere in it.
Sighing, I straighten my shoulders and turn to leave.