I leave my seat and circle around the counter, closing our distance when I lean against the opposite counter. I’m careful to give a little room to ensure we have a serious conversation that can’t be turned into intimacy until it needs to.
“The lawyer is sending you more documents for Lola’s trust. You’ve been pushing it off. It’s really important that you read it over and sign it. It’s for her college fund, ensuring she’ll be taken care of from now until infinity, even if something happens to me. I don’t want to stall,” I explain.
“Right. Sure. I keep forgetting to look over that stuff. If you really feel it needs to be done, then of course. I’m okay with it,” she replies sincerely.
My lips twitch, not quite ready to commit to a smile. “Good. And you gave up your lease, right?”
“Oh.” She seems taken aback and briefly drops her eyes to the ground. “No. Not yet.”
I lift my chin, and a sound of confusion rumbles in the back of my throat. “Why the hesitation? You see us as long-term, right?”
She stuffs her hands in her back pockets. “Of course, I mean?—”
“This isn’t me moving fast, it’s me being logical. Others might co-parent well apart, and that’s great for them. But us? It doesn’t make sense for you to move back, hesitate, or make us live a life apart every day. You’re living here now, and it’s going pretty damn well, no?”
She shrugs a shoulder. “It is.”
“Take Lola out of the equation. I need to hear you say that you are 100% invested in you and me. We’re not together because you’re the mother of my child, and you’re not with me because I’m Lola’s dad. We can have it all. You just need to be committed. I feel the answer, but I need to hear the words.”
Her lips press and slide to the side. “Hayes, you’re a lot.” She half smiles. “It’s been a whirlwind since you walked into that BBQ.”
“I don’t think any BBQ will ever be the same,” I joke.
“The first few days were a little rough. You really threw a lot at me. Well-intentioned threats, and then you turned them all into clear goals. Me.” Luckily, her angelic look remains. “It’s a lot for a woman. But I’m here. I haven’t been in a situation where someone so close to me is all-in. It’s been only me the last few years. Now it’s not. I wanted to wait until I’m certain I’m not caught in a moment. You’re charming, in case you didn’t notice.” She lunges forward to close our distance and scoops up my hands into hers. “This is where I should be. My brain is catching up. If it didn’t, then what would you do?”
I hiss a breath and flex my jaw. “I’m not sure you would like that answer.”
She flutters her lashes, not pleased with my answer. “What does that mean?”
Squeezing her hands, I’ve got to keep our touch from breaking. “It doesn’t matter. Just persistence, I guess.”
“So, right now, if I said that it’s better if we were only friends, then what would happen?” By her tone, I’m guessing I might have triggered a slight fear.
“Let it go,” I insist.
She grumbles and makes a point to let go of my hands, shaking me away. “Now I’m frustrated with your vague answers. I don’t want to get hurt, and this is what happens.”
I’m quick to grab her wrist to prevent her from walking away. “I would never hurt you, and you know that.”
Again, she breaks free from my hold. “I’m going to bed.”
“Avoidance?”
“Yes,” she answers bluntly.
“We love one another, you know.”
She is already halfway out of the kitchen area. “We do,” she confirms. It’s her voice when she’s annoyed, but at least she isn’t angry.
I give her 20 minutes to cool off, and when I arrive in the bedroom, she’s sitting up, sewing, and wearing one of my shirts. She doesn’t look up but knows I’m there.
“Still in avoidance mode?” I can’t help but find her cute.
“No,” she intones. “I just needed a minute.”
I off my shirt to get ready to join her. “My fault.” There is a little guilt there.
“It is.”