“It’shim!” Savannah whispers behind me.
I scoop up Lola from Julian. “Yes,” I confirm in a hiss.
“Okay, so this is my sign to go check on Hayes while you two ladies… Yeah.” He leaves us be.
Savannah seems as panicked as I am. “What happens now?”
“I don’t know. I just need to get Lola to my parents’, then I’ll talk with him. He isn’t exactly thrilled.”
She watches the house. “What an a?—"
Shaking my head, I still and blink to find myself digesting everything he has said. "But he seems to have already made up his mind on his role in Lola's life.” I'm both weary and bewildered by his adamancy coming on so fast. “Now about…” I indicate with my head to my daughter without saying her name, because who knows what she hears or understands. “I'm trying to get a read on him, but all I'm getting is that he might be more pissed about missing so much, and I have a strange feeling that he will be taking that out on me.”
Affectionately, she touches my arm. “No. Everything Julian has said to me about him means it will be okay. I have no idea how this happened, though. I realize that, well, names, Hayes not coming to the office while dealing with the business, and the lack of photos. All of it seems like it could happen. Small chance, but still.”
“Trust me. If it’s a one percent chance, then that’s us.Hence, why I have the cutest little girl in my arms,” I coo at my daughter.
Savannah smiles at me with comfort, and I appreciate it because I need it.
Two hours later,I find Hayes sitting on a bench on Main Street, and I would rather have this conversation in complete privacy, but it's perhaps better that we're in public. It’ll keep our tempers down, and if it really fails, there's a wine store on the corner to stock up for the night.
The way the autumn sun shines down causes his eyes to glint as I approach him.His look could slice right through me. Yet a glimmer of our time together whispers in my head.
I notice the expensive sports car parked across the street, and I assume it’s his.
Sliding onto the bench, I ensure there is distance between us. Nothing about us right now is pulling us closer. Not like that day a few years ago.
“It’s simple, Elodie.” I gulp because he’s stern and cold. “I’m not going to make this in any way easy on you.”
And dread fills me to the brim.
“In fact, you are probably going to hate me, but I don’t give a damn,” he warns me.
3
HAYES
Ispotted Elodie at the party and felt an instant rush of elation that I unexpectedly found her, but it was quickly replaced by confusion and anger. Now, I'm on a bench with a woman as beautiful as ever—except she’s had two years with my daughter that I never got.
She seems nervous, and rightfully so. I'm not being the man who holds himself up to a high caliber. Because all I feel is determination not to make this easy for her—I want her to feel my anger for losing two years with my daughter, missing her milestones, and knowing I can't turn back time.
The last hour, I've been questioning my approach to the situation. I could be a man who hesitates, demands a paternity test, and puts his life on hold until evidence provides clarity. Or I can be a man who takes control of the situation, calls the shots, and approaches the news as I would with everything else in my life. Be determined and avoid failure. There is no middle ground for me. It's not in my nature. I'm doing my damn best to talk myself out of this approach, but my emotions keep winning the battle.
Fatherhood? It has everything to do with honor andresponsibility. Fatherhood and protectiveness are also simply a natural instinct that apparently I had and didn't even know it. I want this.
There is another reason deep down, but I’m not ready to fully confront it.
Sometimes in life, surprises awaken inner aspirations, right?
But holy mother of… I didn’t know I had a daughter.
And I want to get straight to the point because my mind is running a thousand miles a minute.
“When did you find out?” I begin, my voice steady.
“When I was six weeks pregnant. I had a lot of nausea.”
I’m beginning to take in the details. Elodie is younger, early in her career, and I wasn’t in the picture. That begs me to wonder. “And you wanted to keep her?”