“SHUT THE FUCK UP.” The loudness of my own voice startled me, but the anger had already broken through. There was no stopping it. “I willnotbe spoken to like that. If you’ve never forgotten a daily task, tell me now, and I’ll bow to your utter perfection. But I know that’s impossible because you’re human too. God forbid I forget something when I’m running late to meet my friends.The horror.
“You might be my scent match, but we have known each other for aweek. It is not your place to come at me for a simple mistake when you don’t even know what it means or how it impacts ‘my condition.’ Our dynamic is sexual, so you are so far out of line you might as well be on the fucking moon.
“I work my ass off to control my diabetes so I can be healthy, and so if Idomake a mistake, it’s not the end of the fucking world. I don’t know where you get the audacity to assume you know more about this than I do. It ismycondition. It ismybody. And letting you have access to it doesn’t mean jack shit in this situation. Do you understand? Don’teverassume you know more about my own medical condition than I do.”
My chest heaved as I caught my breath, thick silence blanketing the room. All five Alphas stared at me, and icy terror crashed down on me.
Oh no.
No.
Fuck.
Fuck.
What did I just do?
Why would I scream at them? I knew what happened when I lost my temper like that.
I could have gone about that a better way. I could have been softer and deescalated it. I could have done anything else. Now…
Heat rose behind my eyes. Nope. Not here. Not in front of them. I grabbed my purse, keys, and meds and practically sprinted for the door.
The car door was barely shut before the tears erupted. Hysterical sobs that I couldn’t control. Driving probably wasn’t the smartest thing to do right now, but I’d already done the damage and ruined the best thing that had ever happened to me.
Me and my big fucking mouth.
Why can’t you just be quiet? No one wants to hear you, Trinity. Tell it to Cecil when he comes back. He’s the one who cares.
I always ruined it somehow.
Words were my salvation in my career and my downfall everywhere else.
Fuck.
I swiped the tears away as I drove, trying to keep myself together enough to make it to my apartment. It was a mess, but I still had enough things to stay there. I could make a makeshift bed from whatever was left of my blankets and pillows.
Alone.
The door stuck the way it always did. Forcing it open was the catalyst I needed to break entirely. I sat on the floor in my destroyed kitchen and cried. Loud, ugly sobs that echoed through my home.
It didn’t last long. Like dumping out a bucket. I would definitely cry again later, but it was done for now. And I needed to do somethingbesides sit here. This place wasn’t livable, and if I was coming back, I needed to make it livable.
I also knew I was dropping. Which made this feel worse on top of feeling like my whole life just shattered. My phone vibrated in my purse, but I ignored it. I didn’t want to hear them say what I already knew. That would break me.
Who knew if there would be pieces left.
Grabbing the broom, I began the long, arduous process of sweeping up everything that had been broken. I sniffled while I swept up dust and trash, trying not to focus too hard on what had once been my safe place.
Guess I didn’t have any of those anymore.
I hadn’t even been home a half hour when there was a knock on the door. Either a downstairs neighbor coming to berate me for the sound of broken glass being swept up, or… them. But it wasn’t them. It couldn’t be them. Not after what I did.
The knock came again. I didn’t move. Whoever it was would go away, eventually. But they didn’t.
“Trinity. Sweetheart, I know you’re in there.”
Brooks.