“I won’t.” But even I can feel the unease settling in my stomach as I hang up the phone.
One wrong move and everything will come crashing down. And it seems Ronan will be all too quick to place the blame on me.
When I eventually emerge from my office after draining a third of the bottle of whiskey, Riley has cleared away the dinner things, though her full wine glass still remains on the table.
“Everything okay?” she asks as I take a seat beside her and place an arm around her shoulders, pulling her against my side.
I force a smile. “Yeah. Just work stuff.”
She nods before snuggling up against me.
I grab the remote and start a movie, hoping it will distract me, but I can’t focus.
Every scene, every word is background noise while my thoughts keep returning to the deal I made with Finn and the fragile thread I’m walking.
Halfway through the movie, I glance down and find Riley fast asleep. I can’t help but smile, considering the fact I’m the reason she got such little sleep last night.
After turning off the TV, I gently lift her into my arms and carry her upstairs to bed. She stirs, murmuring something I can’t understand, before burying her face in my chest, and I let myself enjoy the feeling of her sleeping in my arms before settling her down on the bed and draping the comforter over her.
“Sweet dreams, little dove.” I press a kiss to her forehead.
My thoughts are a whirlpool of Finn, Ronan, and Riley, and I’m too wired to sleep, so I slip out of the room and return to my office.
Every decision I make feels like a gamble, one misstep away from disaster, and I can’t help but fear I’m being reckless just to try and prove myself to Ronan.
I pace the office, pouring another glass of whiskey to steady myself.
The warmth spreads slowly, but it does little to calm the tension knotting in my chest.
Talking to Ronan has put me on edge, making me second guess the choice I made. But that’s just what he does.
Nothing I do or say is right, and I’m starting to realize that’s never going to change. Ronan will always be the leader, and I will always come second.
But I’m not just doing this for Ronan. I’m doing it for Riley, to protect her and the life we’re slowly starting to build together.
I close my eyes for a moment and picture her smile and let the memory of her laughter ring in my ears.
Tomorrow, Finn will finally walk free. But for tonight, I hold onto the image of Riley’s smile and swear to myself that I’ll protect her, no matter what it takes.