Kieran rears back as if I’ve struck him. “Don’t compare me to him.”
“Then stop acting like him! Treat me like a human being and not a liability you have to manage.”
The silence that follows is deafening. My heart is hammering in my chest, and it hurts to take a breath, but it’s clear Kieran is not going to be the one to break it. So, I decide to say the one thing that I know could sever things between us for good.
“I heard what you said to Ronan. That night, after we slept together.”
Kieran goes still, so I continue.
“When I was in the bathroom, I heard you tell him that I meant nothing to you. That anything that happened between us was because it was the only way for you to make this deal tolerable.”
My voice cracks, and Kieran’s face drains of color.
“Riley—”
“Don’t! Don’t insult me by pretending you don’t remember. I know what I heard.”
He swears under his breath and rubs a hand down his face.
“I didn’t mean it.”
I shake my head, my eyes already stinging with tears. “It’s fine, I get it. You were bored, whatever…”
I go to step past him, but he grabs my wrist.
“Riley, stop. Listen to me.”
I try to pull away, but he only tightens his hold. It’s not enough to hurt me, but it’s enough to keep me close to him. Close enough to be enveloped by his musky cologne, overwhelmed by his breath on my cheek.
“Riley.” His voice is thick. “I shouldn’t have said that shit to Ronan. I was pissed, and he wouldn’t shut up about how I was making a mistake, how I was getting too close.”
“Were you?” I look up at him.
He swallows as he stares at me. “Yeah, I was. I still am.”
I freeze as Kieran slowly rubs his thumb back and forth over the inside of my wrist.
“Ronan was right, but I didn’t want to hear it.” His eyes stay locked on mine. “So, I said what I knew would end the conversation. I said that sleeping with you didn’t mean anything because if I didn’t, I was going to start defending it, defendingyou.”
My throat goes dry. “So…you… you didn’t mean it?”
The corner of his mouth twitches. “I’ve been over here thinking it was you who wasn’t into me.”
“Wait, what?”
“You’ve been acting like you regretted that night ever since it happened, whereas I have been going out of my mind with the need to take you to my bed every night since.”
My breath catches in my throat as Kieran’s eyes darken, and I know in that moment that he means every word.
“You really thought that?”
“I watched you pull away from me. What was I supposed to think?”
I don’t have an explanation because it’s true. Iwaspulling away, but not because I regretted what happened between us. It was because I was terrified of how much I enjoyed it.
Kieran exhales and takes a step closer to me until his chest brushes against mine, and I swallow a whimper as my hardening nipples rub against him.
“You’ve been walking around thinking I didn’t want you…” He moves his hand to interlace his fingers through mine. “And I’ve been losing my mind wanting you.”