His hands are tight on the wheel, his throat working rhythmically.
He was relaxed when he knocked on my door, but this tense version of Colt came out to play the second he saw me. The way his eyes traveled over me, the way his eyes widened, made me blush.
I swear I haven’t stopped blushing since Holly dropped her bomb, and the way Colt’s looking at me is only making it worse. I reach over to fiddle with the dash vents, pointing them straight at my face.
“You want me to turn it up? Or down? Or change the temp?” His words are coming fast, one on top of the other.
“I’m ok,” I murmur, studying his features. There’s no way he can stay this tense during our date. He’s freaking me out. My eyes jump around the cab, searching for something to say. “So why did you get rid of the yellow monstrosity?”
If I wasn’t watching, I would have missed the subtle tightening of his jaw. “Just thought it was time for a change.”
I frown. “Are you sure?”
“Yeah.”
Maybe I should just take him at his word. Move on to some other topic. Keep things relaxed on our first date. “You don’t seem sure. Why did you change your mind about it so suddenly?”
There goes that tick in his jaw again. “You said it yourself. It was a monstrosity.”
I shift in my seat, rubbing my thighs to dry my suddenly damp palms. “I wasn’t serious Colt.”
He snorts, pulling into a parking space. I don’t look up to see where we are, too focused on the hint of hurt I hear in his voice. “Yeah, you were. I saw the look on your face when you saw it the first time.”
I think back to the blur of that drive. The anxiousness in my stomach, the worry over the job interview, and my guilt over the way I treated Colt the night before. “I don’t remember,” I admit softly.
He turns off the ignition, impatiently releasing his seatbelt so he can shift more fully towards me. Even with his seat all the way back, the bulk of his body fills the space between the seat and the steering wheel. There’s no room for me to climb in between. Not that I’d do that.
It’s only our first date, after all. But on the second? It would have been nice to have the option.
“You looked at me like I was ridiculous and shook your head, Evie. Your dislike was pretty clear.”
“I…well I didn’t love it, but why does that matter? You bought it for a reason. You wanted people to see it. There must’ve been other people who didn’t like it much?”
He leans back against the door, head turned to look out the windshield. “I bought it because it was massive, and fit me well, and because it made me laugh every time I drove it.”
“That sounds like a good reason to buy it, then. Why did you sell it if you liked it so much?”
“Because it made me feel like a fool.”
I swear my stomach is in my shoes. “I made you feel like a fool. My reaction. Right?”
His brows lower, but he shrugs like it’s no big deal.
I unsnap my seatbelt and lean over the center console, reaching for his hand. He lets me take it, watching as I gently stroke the back of it in apology. My hands are strong. They always seemed so big compared to other women. Next to Colt’s, they look feminine. Delicate. It’s jarring to see a part of myself so differently, so suddenly.
Like maybe everything I think about myself, about my body, might be wrong.
“That was never my intention, Colt. Never. Sounds like I was being a judgmental ass. You shouldn’t put any weight on my opinion. None. I know crap all about cars, anyway.”
He curls his hand around my fingers, halting them, but my thumb keeps tracing a path over his skin. I can’t stop.
“That’s the problem, Evie. Your opinion matters. A fuck of a lot. It mattered then, and it matters a whole lot more now. I never want you to look at me like that again. Like I’m ridiculous. So I got rid of the Hummer.” He licks his lips, locking his eyes on mine. “My brothers joked around about it, strangers commented on it, and I didn’t give a fuck. It stopped being funny when you did it.”
My eyes prick with tears. “I am so sorry, Colt. Truly. I’m not sure what I was thinking, but it was never that you’re ridiculous. I didn’t know much about you then, but everything I knew pointed to you being an incredibly kind, generous man. I think the giant yellow Hummer just surprised me. I never want you to believe that I would think less of you, or make fun of you as a person.” I sniff, blinking rapidly. “Besides, after spending so much time with you the last couple of months, I realize now it really suited you.”
He grins then, reaching out with his free hand to cup my cheek, running his thumb along my cheekbone. “Yeah? Loud and annoying and takes up too much space?”
I laugh. “No. Big and outgoing. Eye-catching.” He preens, making me laugh, but I sober quickly. “It matters Colt. What you think of me matters a lot, too. Even more so now. That’s why this,” I say, waving between us, “is so scary. I don’t want you to stop looking at me like that. Like I’m special.”