“How many hours do you work out in a week, Becca?” I ask suddenly.
She shifts on the couch to face me, draping her arm along the back. “I teach an average of four hours a day, six days a week. Then I take classes too. So…lots. Are you thinking of coming to train? It’s a great place to be. Just ask Holly or Colton.”
“I knew Holly took self-defense with you, but I didn’t realize Colt spent time there.”
“’Yeah, he’s my little grappling bitch. He’s got mad skills. He still can’t pin me more than one out of five times, though, but he’s getting better. I keep trying to convince him to take Yoga but he won’t. Man has the flexibility of a flagpole.”
I get a mental picture of Colt wearing short shorts, holding warrior two, and feel a little warm. But I’m also a little in awe. Becca’s a strong woman, but I didn’t realize she was so skilled. If Colton’s wall of muscle isn’t enough to beat her, then those ninja rumors must be true.
“Evie…” Holly says tentatively, “I don’t mean to overstep, but you’re looking much healthier than when you first came. When I knew you in Columbus, you were…”
“Fat?” The word never bothered me. It’s just a descriptor, and an accurate one for me…at least it used to be.
“Yes. Curvy and healthy. I was honestly a little terrified for you when I saw you again. You looked…not good. I know we’ve joked about the way you lost weight, but honestly, I was so worried.”
Becca and Holly’s faces are both open, and warm. So I admit something I’m just coming to realize myself. “I think I miss being a size eighteen.” Exhaling, I let the words fall between us. Their smiles grow, no sign of judgment anywhere on their faces.
“What do you miss exactly?” Becca asks, shoving another chip into her mouth.
“I miss feeling…strong. Maybe I just need to go to the gym. But it took me a long time to learn to love my old body. My whole life, my family looked down on me. Too tall, too heavy, too loud, too opinionated. I worked really fucking hard, but I did it. I looked in the mirror and loved my hips and strong legs and my significant ass. But in the back of my mind, I think I still had this idea that if I lost weight, I would somehow be happier, maybe?”
“The way you lost weight wasn’t healthy, though,” Becca says. “Of course, you didn’t feel strong. You were fucking starving.”
“True. It was ok at the beginning, but I would have killed for a proper meal most days. I’ve already put on weight this month. If I don’t watch what I’m doing, I’ll go right back to the size I used to be.”
Becca stops, a chip hovering in the air. “Is that a bad thing? Did you have to work hard to stay the size you were before?”
“Not really. I mostly made healthy choices, and I loved walking and bike riding. I liked being active. It never felt hard to do. I didn’t do nearly the amount of exercise you do, though.”
“Not a lot of people do, but I also keep up the training because I love to eat and need to balance out the Bloomin’ Onions, you know what I mean? Plus, this is the body I feel best in, so fuck what anyone else thinks.”
“I like that attitude. After everything that’s happened the last two years, I don’t have many fucks left to give.”
“So maybe you just keep eating healthy, move your body in ways you enjoy, and see where you end up? Whatever size that may be?”
“I could do that,” I say, really liking the idea. The last thing I want to do is obsess over everything I’m doing to because I should want to be thinner. I could invest in a running stroller and start going out for longer walks with Mia. I used to love being outside with her. “And maybe a gym membership would be a good idea. I do want to get stronger.”
Becca blows a raspberry. “Lady, you don’t need a membership. Just ask the guys to add you to the palm scanner for the Gym here. You want to work out? Any equipment you can think of is one floor up. They even have a running track up there. You can bring Mia. I’m sure Colt could set up a safe little play area for her.”
“Ah…I suppose I could ask him. I hate to impose on him, though. I know he’s got a lot of responsibility.”
Holly’s tinkling laugh rings out. “Yes, he has a lot of responsibility, but his focus right now seems to be you, and making his brothers insane.”
Becca joins in the laughter. “He’s such a dick. You never should have taken him to that craft store. You created a monster.”
“Hey! It wasn’t my fault. Jonas is the one who insisted we go.”
They’re nearly in hysterics, and I have no idea why. “I’m lost. What is he doing?”
“He discovered Cricuts at the craft store,” Becca says with a roll of her eyes. “Those cutting, crafting machines. He’s gone off the edge. He’s been making stickers and leaving them all over the brothers’ offices, cars, and condos. “
“I found one inside Micah’s shoe this morning,” Holly says. “It had a picture of a little eggplant on it. It saidBig Shoes, Little Dick. Honestly, that’s one of the tamer ones.”
Pressing my palms to my cheeks, I can’t help laughing, too. “Oh, my god. I had no idea he was a joker. I see it with Mia, but I thought that was just for her.”
It hasn’t been for me, really. As much as we’re becoming friends, I think we’re still dancing around each other. On my end, I know it’s because I’m attracted to him and I don’t think I should be.
“Yeah, he is. Most of the time he’s busy, playful, and so much fun. Then sometimes…” Holly breaks off with a wince.