Does he really not understand how desperate it is?“Brother, you’ve got to settle the fuck down. You want to keep her? Asking her to marry you out of desperation is not going to do it. You need to chill. Fucking enjoy her, Kade. Be with her instead of worrying about her leaving. Show up every day, make her life better in any way you can, and love her. It’s not that complicated.”
He’s scowling at me like I took away his favorite toy. Or like I dropped a truth bomb on him. But I’m right about this. “Did you get that out of one of your fancy books, man?”
This asshole.“Seriously? Just because I read doesn’t mean they’re fancy books, dickwad. They’re just books. And if you’re smart, you’ll read a couple of relationship books before you fuck up.”
He looks intrigued at that. “You have relationship books?”
“Why are you so surprised? I have books about everything. There’s a few I could lend you.”I make the offer, but I doubt he’ll take me up on it. Kade and reading don’t really go together. He can’t seem to sit still long enough to read a book.
He’s gazing off over the city, and I can almost see his gears grinding. Finally, he nods “Yeah man. Maybe you can lend me one.”
My mouth drops open. Maybe I don’t know him as well as I thought I did. I smile at him. “Good,” I say.“I’ll give you a couple, and you read the one that interests you the most. I’ll go grab them.”I don’t want to wait and give him time to change his mind. I suck back the rest of my beer, then head through Kade’s apartment across the little elevator entryway, into mine.
Ransom didn’t want to waste any square footage outside the apartments, so the elevator lobby is half the size of our entryways. Kade’s and my condo’s layouts are mirror images of each other. Hell, all eight of our apartments are the same. The large entryways open into large great rooms. Big chefs kitchens, huge living rooms and a dining room fill the space, with a large terrace complete with outdoor kitchens just outside the floor to ceiling windows. The patio doors all fold in on themselves, so inside and outside blend. In the four years we’ve lived here, I’ve never gone on the patio. Kade hadn’t used his until today, either. The only outdoor space we ever used was up in Ransom’s penthouse.
Off to one side is a short hallway with two guest rooms, one that’s furnished that I sleep in and the other is empty. On the opposite side are the main bedroom and the bathroom. That room is way too big, bigger than any room I’ve ever slept in. I tried for a few nights, but gave up and ended up in the smaller room. It just felt too open. I like the closed-in space better.
I have to stop for a quick minute to run my fingers down Minnie’s back. If I don’t, she’ll just keep winding around me until I give in. Once she’s satisfied I’ve paid her enough attention, she climbs back up the seven-foot cat tree in front of the windows to continue her nap. Then I head over to my books.
The shelves take up the entire wall, extending all the way to the nine-foot ceiling, on either side of the fireplace and TV. Even with my massive wingspan, I still can’t reach the books at the top. I’ve been thinking about getting one of those cool rolling ladders installed, but for now the ugly step ladder that lives right next to the shelves works fine.
I grab the ladder and pull a couple of books off the top shelf, stopping to admire my collection for a minute. I run my finger over the spines of some of my favorites, passages flashing through my mind. Thousands of books fill these shelves, and I’ve read every page.
I don’t really think about being rich most of the time. I wear coveralls over jeans most days, rarely go to fancy restaurants, and drive a mint car I fixed up myself. But walking into a bookstore, knowing I can afford anything I want? Well, that’s where I feel truly rich.
There’s something about seeing a wall full of books in my space that makes me feel settled. At home. I wonder if Holly reads? My fiction section has a couple of really great romances in it. Maybe she’d like those? Colton made fun of me when I bought them, but I got the fucker hooked, too. Nobody would make fun of her for reading them, though. I’d make sure of it.
Spotting the books I want, I tuck them under my arm and head back over to Kade’s, using my palm print to unlock his door. Declan insisted on high-tech security, but we’re all programmed into each other’s door. We’re supposed to set our system to privacy mode to lock everyone out, but we don’t use it very often. I’ve walked in to see some of my brothers doing shit that scarred me for life.
I hear Becca’s voice as soon as the door opens, and my hands go clammy. They’re back. Holly’s here.
3
HOLLY
I’m always a little intimidated walking into this apartment. It’s so far removed from where I live, even where I used to live, that I’m afraid to touch anything. Kade and Becca have never made me feel that way, but I can’t help calculating how much everything must have cost. That couch? Twenty grand, easy. The six burner range in the kitchen? Fifteen grand. The list goes on. Everything is top of the line for Kade.
You’d never know it from looking at him. I mean, he drives a nice truck and wears nice clothes, but he just seems so comfortable, you know? Like he can be anywhere and not judge. It looks like a home, though. Touches of Becca in the cozy blankets on the couch, the photo albums on the table and frames on the walls. She’s turning it into their home. Though from what I can tell, she could paint the whole place glittery pink and Kade wouldn’t care. As long as she’s with him, he’s happy. And so is she.
Becca’s laughter rings out from the deck. She’s wrapped up in Kade’s arms, holding…a big lump of coal? That can’t be right. I pad closer in my bare feet, stopping at the outside threshold.
“Aw baby. It’s ok,” she says, teasing, “You don’t have to be embarrassed. Not everyone can be a master chef.” It’s not a lump of coal. It’s a charred steak. There are three more of them sitting beside the Barbecue. I cover my mouth to hide my smile. Becca was right. Shit-show. He’s laughing and whispers something in her ear but he sees me and straightens.
“Holly,” he says, moving towards me. “How are you, honey?” As always, he opens his arms, then drops them to his side when I step back a little. I see the understanding on his face, and he rolls on as if it never happened. I haven’t been able to accept his hug, any hug really except Becca’s, in years. Kade is just too big. Too male. Maybe if he were small like me, it would be easier? I don’t know. “Ok?” he asks softly, trying to peer at me through my sunglasses. I still have them on, covering my red eye.
I curl my lip up to give him a small smile. “I’m ok. It could have been worse.” He doesn’t look like he believes me, but he doesn’t push, which I appreciate. I don’t want to share what happened in that room. Not with anyone.
“Did he sign the papers?” Kade asks. I’m sure he already knows the answer. Why is he going to make me say it? The little spurt of frustration dies. I can’t keep it alive when he’s looking at me with such concern. Not that I’d ever show him I’m angry. I learned that lesson long ago. Anger only makes things worse, makes me bleed.
“No, he didn’t sign them. His exact words were ‘over my dead body’.” The loud growl behind me stops my heart. I jump, instinctively backing up to the corner of the windows.
It’s him. Micah. The bane of my existence. He’s scowling again, and it immediately shoots my blood pressure up. I spent almost two years away from Brent, but I still can’t shake the programming. When Micah scowls at me, I end up in a spiral of fear, worrying about what I’ve done wrong and what he might do. I don’t think he’d hurt me, but I didn’t think Brent would either when I married him. I was very, very wrong.
My judgment is crap.
Micah’s deep voice seems to fill the room. “Arrange…that.” He doesn’t stutter. He never does. Instead, he pauses between the words until he’s sure they’ll come out clear and strong. I’ve watched him do it over and over again the two months I’ve worked at the garage. Somehow he always gets his point across to the guys at the garage, to the customer, to me. But this time I’m confused. Arrange what? I look up at him, but his eyes are fixed on Kade. When I swing my gaze to Kade, he’s smiling.
“Fuck yeah! I like the way you think. We’ve waited too long already. He held a fucking knife on my girl.” He says with a snarl.