“I never hated you either,” she whispers. “Do…do you want me to move out? Get your space back?”
“No.” I tell her firmly. “I want you here for the rest of my fucking days. The last week has only convinced me of that.”
Her lips quirk up. “Then if it’s ok with you, I’d like to stay.”
And just like that, I can breathe again.
“This is your home, Holly.”
Her beautiful smile lights me up. I bask in its warmth until it falls quietly off her face.
She pushes herself straighter on the couch, squaring her shoulders. “There are some other things I need.”
“Anything.”
“I apparently have a really good benefits plan at Brash. It includes counseling.”
We treat our employees like fucking gold, so that doesn’t surprise me at all. And we waived Holly’s probationary period after the first week. We know a good thing when we see it, and we, okay I, didn’t want to risk losing her.
“I want…I need to start counseling. When I went before, it was different.” She says slowly, her brow furrowed.
Dropping back to the couch, I wrap my fingers around her foot again. “How…different?”
“I was just learning how to live again, without Brent's boot on my neck. This time, I need to work through how to…move into a relationship. How to do us, in a way that won’t scar us both.”
“Scar?”
“Sex,” she says, her face beet red. “I don’t want to be intimate with you and have a horrible flashback or freeze.”
I shudder. “That idea is fucking terrifying. I don’t want that either. When we’re together, I don’t want you to even remember his name.”
Her shoulders relax, “I want that too. I know I asked you to stay last night. I…”
“Holly.” I say, shoving down my disappointment. “That’s my room,”I say, pointing at my room, then pointing to hers. “That’s yours. I’m only there if you invite me. I’m not going to assume a damn thing.”
“So, roommates then?” she asks, her eyes shining.
I grumble, scowling at her again. “No. My…love…Always.”
23
MICAH
Ihaven’t felt this pumping need in years. The need to hurt, to maim. But being forced to listen to Holly’s pain over the last couple of days, hearing the way Brent destroyed Evie's life, and not react, has made my blood boil. Prison is too good for her ex. He deserves to suffer for every bruise, every sprain, every broken bone he’s ever inflicted on Holly. I want him to bleed and beg, and I want to be the one to inflict the damage. To punish. To get justice for her.
Prison is too good for him.
The rage is rising, swirling in my gut, suffocating me. It’s an old friend. One that I thought had left me forever. But it hadn’t left, instead just hiding, biding its time.
I relish it, welcome it. Because I know what that rage can do. The havoc we can wreck together. We want to make bleed, to terrify, to pummel, but the focus of that rage, Brent, is out of reach. Locked up tight behind prison walls. And I can’t fucking stand it.
I head to the door, saying a quick goodnight to Kathy, thankful she agreed to stay until I get back. It doesn’t matter how hard the rage is riding me, my need to keep Holly safe is stronger. No way in hell would I leave her here alone.
Colton’s leaning against the bank of elevators, gray sweatsuit already sweaty, eyes hooded. “You sure you want to do this? We can just go downstairs and spar instead, man.”
I scowl at him. “Not…good…enough.” The beast is riding me. “I don’t want gloves tonight. I don’t want to hold back. I need it, man.”
He looks down, rubbing the back of his neck. “I don’t think it’s a good idea, brother. Go back, be with your lady.”