Nicola crossed her arms, her brow furrowed, feeling hurt and furious. Somehow, speaking of Kenton and his actions was bringing about all manner of confusion and sorrow all over again.
“You will not cover for him,” she told him, lowering her voice. “He was in my husband’s solar a few days before leaving for battle at Manchester, speaking to his men on how he was using me for information. Do you deny you were in that room and heard that conversation?”
Conor was trying to think very hard on the day and location she was referring to and it began to occur to him that it might be the same day that he and de Russe began their animosity towards one another. That was the only time since Warwick left Babylon that Kenton had gathered all of the knights, so it had to be the moment she was speaking of.
“A few days before leaving for battle at Manchester?” he repeated, struggling to work through the cobwebs of both injury and faded memory. “Do you mean when he was speaking to Wellesbourne and de Russe?”
“I thought I heard their voices.”
“In the solar?”
“Aye.”
Conor chewed his lip with thought, remembering the conversation in that room before he’d been sent away. He sighed heavily, remembering the conference with some clarity, mostly because of the feelings involved between him and de Russe.
“What you heard was de Russe and Wellesbourne confronting Kenton for not following through on Warwick’s orders,” he said. “I was there when they accused him of spending too much time with you and ignoring his orders.”
Nicola’s fury took a bit of a dousing. “They said that to him?”
“Aye.”
“What did he say?”
Conor tried to shrug but he couldn’t quite manage it with his bruised and beaten body. “I am not sure,” he admitted, “for I challenged de Russe for slandering Kenton’s reputation. Kenton sent me out of the room so that de Russe and I would not come to blows. What, exactly, did you hear Kenton say, my lady?”
Nicola was starting to feel increasingly confused and anxious about the situation. “He said that by virtue of my marriage to Gaylord, I was an enemy of Henry,” she said, recalling what she’d heard nearly verbatim. With such hurtful words, she remembered them down to the last syllable. “He said that I would know my husband’s allies and that I might have even known what my husband and his allies have discussed. He said that he could not beat the information out of me so it was in his best interest to be gentle with me in order to discover what I know. Surely he said the same thing to you at some point.”
Conor was genuinely stumped by her statement. Slowly, he shook his head. “Never, my lady, I swear it,” he replied. “I have known Kenton le Bec for many years and I have never known him to be anything other than straightforward and forthright. He would not have tried to ply you with honeyed words in order to find out what you know, for Kenton le Bec does notuse subversion tactics. If he was kind to you, or gentle, it was because he wanted to be.”
Nicola gazed at the man, her face expressionless for a moment. Then, very slowly, her cheeks began to flush and her eyes grew moist. She blinked, rapidly, and turned away from Conor, wandering away until she came to a stone bench on the side of the cell. She sat heavily, grinding her bum into the moist, mossy stone.
“But I heard him say it,” she whispered, fighting back tears. “How was I supposed to know he did not mean it? I heard him say he would use me. He spoke of me as if I were the enemy, which I am. Conor, Iamyour enemy.”
Conor was watching her very closely. “You are,” he agreed quietly. “But, my lady, I swear to you that I have never in my life seen Kenton behave the way he behaved with you. We all knew he was smitten with you and we assumed you were smitten with him as well. That is why Wellesbourne and de Russe confronted him. It was clear his attention was not where it should be.”
Nicola blinked and a tear escaped. She quickly wiped it away. “Where should it be?”
“On Warwick’s conquest. He was ignoring all of it because of you.”
Nicola hung her head, fighting off sobs. She’d never felt so much remorse or guilt or horror in her entire life. She couldn’t stave off the tears entirely so she sat there, quickly wiping at her face.
“I did not know,” she whispered. “I thought I heard his true motives. I thought I heard him in an unguarded moment. I was angry… angry because he led me to believe that… it does not matter now. I have done terrible, terrible things. I have destroyed everything he has worked to accomplish.”
Conor watched her lowered head, coming to understand that everything he had guessed was occurring between Lady Thorneand Kenton had, in fact, been true. The lady had made that abundantly clear. But she also made it clear that she was the one who had betrayed Kenton and his men, purely out of revenge for a misunderstanding, and he was caught up in a mistake of her doing. Aye, a good deal was becoming quite clear and Conor wasn’t sure he was in a forgiving mood.
“If you are looking for absolution, I have none to give you,” he said quietly. “There is no forgiveness in war.”
Nicola sighed heavily, wiping her face of the tears that would not seem to stop falling. “I am not asking for your absolution,” she said, daring to look up at him, “but I thank you for explaining the situation to me from your perspective. I am sorry that the men from Conisbrough beat you and I believe I can convince them that you are my husband’s knight. Will you at least let me do that for you so you do not rot away in this vault?”
Conor’s swollen lips twitched in an ironic smile. “I will not surrender my honor to save myself, my lady,” he said. “Your offer is generous, but I will decline.”
Nicola forced herself to stop weeping, focusing on Conor and what needed to be done. She was quite serious when she spoke. “I am not asking you to surrender your honor,” she said. “I may need your help, Sir Conor, and I have no one else I can turn to. You understand what is happening here and I will need your counsel. If you hate me for all of this, I do not blame you, but I must try to right the wrongs that I have committed. I am told that Manchester fell to Edward, which means Kenton is either dead or captured. I must do all that I can to discover what has happened to the man and when I do, I may need your assistance. Or I may release you and let you go to him. Either way, it is a better ending for you than moldering away in Babylon’s vault.”
Conor considered her words. Dying in this moldy hole certainly did not appeal to him and if Lady Thorne was sincere about discovering what had become of Kenton, then he was notopposed to helping her. Perhaps she really did want to right her wrong; perhaps she was only fearful of her immortal soul for the moment and said such words to convince him to join or forgive her. He would not do either of those things. But if there was a chance to get free and go to Kenton, he would be a fool not to take it.
“Very well,” he agreed. “I will go along with your charade if you sincerely mean to locate Kenton. But know that you do not have my trust.”
Nicola wasn’t surprised or offended by his statement. “I do not need your trust,” she said. “All I need is your cooperation. I must have it or you will remain here in the vault. I cannot help you beyond that.”