Garren’s grip tightened again. “Damn you, Fergus, if you do not tell me what has happened to my wife, I will kill you where you stand and worry of the consequences later.”
He meant every word, Fergus knew that. But he was not making this any easier. “Garren, please,” he begged, trying to loosen the hold on his neck. “You must be calm, my friend.”
“Fergus!”
Fergus could see there was no alternative than to tell him, quickly. “She knew you had gone to battle with the Marshal. She heard my father and me speaking of the civil wars. I tried to reassure her that it did not necessarily mean your death, but she was greatly distressed. She is easily distressed these days.”
“What does that mean?”
Fergus’ manner softened. “She carries your son, Garren. The child has turned her into a whirlwind of emotion.”
Garren felt as if all of the wind had been knocked from him. A gambit of emotions raced over his features, delight and terror and everything in between.
“She is with child?” he gasped.
“Aye.”
“Truly?”
“I would not lie about this, my friend.”
“And she is well?”
Fergus was careful with his reply. “The child made her full of health, if that is what you mean. Otherwise, she drove us all mad with her raging and crying and smiles. We never knew what to expect from her.” He watched Garren’s eyes positively light with the news, a brief respite of joy from the horror that was about to follow. “When she found out about your whereabouts, she was upset, of course, but we did not believe overly so. We had seen her in a worse state. But… Garren, as closely as we can deduce, she must have thrown herself into the river in her grief. I swear that we never believed she would be capable of such a thing. The last we saw of her, she was standing on the hill overlooking the river, the hill where the wild lentils grow. You know the one. One moment she was there, the next she was gone.”
Garren stared at him. It was an expression Fergus had never seen before. All of the color drained from Garren’s face and Fergus found himself helping the man to sit so that he would not collapse. For the all-powerful Garren le Mon to collapselike a weakling was unthinkable. But Fergus could see the man cracking, right before his eyes.
“Perhaps she may have even slipped,” Fergus tried to soften the blow now that the hammer had fallen. “She was close to the edge, as she always is, and we found tracks in the soft earth that had dragging movement to them. She was probably gone hours by the time we realized she was missing and we searched for days, Garren. I swear to you, we didn’t sleep for several days or nights for search of her. We left no stone unturned.”
Garren closed his eyes, falling forward to rest his head in his hands. “God, tell me this is a nightmare.”
“I wish I could.”
“You didn’t find her?”
“Nay, my friend, we did not.”
“No blood or… body?”
“We found nothing, Garren. She is simply,” he shrugged helplessly, “gone.”
Garren’s head remained in his hands for several long moments. When he finally lifted his face, there were tears in his eyes.
“Just like Bryndalyn,” he muttered. “Oh… God, tell me she didn’t do what that woman did….”
A light of recognition came to Fergus’ eye. “You know of Bryndalyn and Owain?” He knew the story, too, and horror suddenly swept him. “Just like the tale. Bryndalyn threw herself into the river when.…”
A look from Garren made the words die in his throat. “Your father told us about it when we first went to Cilgarren,” Garren mumbled. “She was so saddened by it, but I never imagined she would follow in the shadow of the legend. It never occurred to me that my not returning immediately would… Christ, that story was in her mind, ever lingering, planting the seed of despair thatmade her go mad when I did not come back as I would sworn to. How long has she been missing?”
“It has been nearly three weeks,” Fergus said. “I looked for her as long as I dared before riding to Chepstow. They told me of the battles north and I came searching for you.”
Garren’s teeth abruptly clenched. “I know of your mission. The Marshal told me. Fergus, I swear to Almighty God, if you have done something to her and are trying to throw me off your scent, I shall….”
Fergus shook his head emphatically. “Do you truly believe I could harm a hair on her beautiful head? Garren, you are closer to me than a brother. ’Tis true, years ago, the Marshal asked that I watch you, and as a fearful lad, I did as I was told. But as we grew older and our friendship blossomed, I put the Marshal’s priorities behind yours. I would never betray you, not even for our country. I do not blame you if you never trust me again, but I assure you, my loyalty is and always has been with you. Haven’t I proven that time and time again?” He could see that he wasn’t making much of an impact. “If I truly wanted to harm her, I could have done it on that chaotic odyssey from Framlingham to the abbey. I could have easily turned her back over to her family, but I didn’t. Does that not account for anything?”
Garren couldn’t decide whether to kill him at that point or not. He decided against it, mostly because what Fergus said made sense. “Then why didn’t you ever tell me who you were?”
“Why didn’t you ever tell me?”