Maybe she would have had more children, something Sutton had always imagined for herself, after coming from such a large family.
“I never had the burning desire to be a parent,” Charlotte had said to her thoughtfully, as they’d cleaned up after Lucy’s seventh birthday. “I love being Lucy’s bonus parent,” she added quickly, even though she didn’t have to.
Sutton knew how much Charlotte adored Lucy; she saw it every day.
“I just… I never had that drive. Obviously, I was never going to do it alone, and I was single for most of my life, so…” Charlotte sighed, her eyebrows knitting together.
“What if you hadn’t been?” Sutton had asked, unbearably curious about that particular what-if.
“I don’t know.” She’d pursed her lips. “I think, with the right partner”—Charlotte had aimed a meaningful look at Sutton, one that made her stomach tingle—“that I would have wanted it. Because I look at Lucy, and I see so much of you, and Ilovethat. I love this little person who came from you. But I think I would have been scared out of my mind, too.”
A disbelieving laugh had escaped Sutton. “Scared?! Charlotte, you’re in control of every situation. Even with Lucy, you’re a natural. What would you have been scared of?”
“Of being like my parents, darling,” Charlotte succinctly answered, even though the response had Sutton shaking her head immediately.
“You have never been anything but present and engaged,” she countered, needing Charlotte to know that.
“Well, stepping in with Lucy is very different than making the choice to start the process from the beginning.”
Sutton didn’t disagree, but she honestly believed that doing what Charlotte had done—throw her lot in with Sutton’s as a single mother—was a lot scarier and harder for most people than starting from scratch.
“Do you want to have more?” Charlotte asked, her tone deep and considering as she tilted her head and looked at Sutton with big, probing eyes.
“Like… hypothetically or literally?” Sutton had needed the clarification because the question had completely bowled her over.
Charlotte breathed out a warm laugh as she’d stepped closer and slid a lock of Sutton’s hair behind her ear. “Literally, darling. I know that you’d imagined yourself with more than one child in life and that circumstances with Layla didn’t work out. But I want you to know that if it’s a conversation you want to have with me, I’m open to it.”
All right, now Sutton could have been knocked over with a feather. “Youare?”
It hadn’t even been a topic she’d thought to bring up with Charlotte, in all honesty.
Charlotte laughed, stroking her thumb down Sutton’s cheek. “Yes, and thank you for that shocked reaction.”
“I just, I never thought about it,” she admitted.
“Well, if you want to think about it, then we can do it together,” Charlotte suggested softly. Sweetly.
Sutton’s heart skipped a beat as she’d stared into Charlotte’s eyes. It skipped another beat as she imagined—so, so easily—having a baby with Charlotte’s genetics.
Slowly, though, she found herself shaking her head. “I think, if things were different, I’d be over the moon about having your baby.” In fact, sheknewshe would.
“But the reality is, I’m almost forty right now. I’d be even older by the time we’d have the baby. And while people have children in their forties, I think I want our life together. Right now, we have Lucy. But once she’s older and needs us less consistently, I want our life to be about us. We’ve never been able to have that, you and me. A full-blownrelationshipthat centers on just you and me. And I think I’d like that.”
Yes, in another life, things would have been so very different. If it was another life with Charlotte, Sutton imagined she’d love it.
But as she came back to the present to watch Charlotte duck down and look closely at what she was doing on the counter as she hummed a victorious tune, she couldn’t imagine changing this world for any other.
“Am I interrupting something?” she asked, finally pushing off of the archway and walking closer.
Close enough to peer over Charlotte’s shoulder and see that she was making homemade pasta.
“Your interruptions are always welcome, darling,” Charlotte assured her as she pinched the middle of the little square she’d cut. “Ha! Look at that. Farfalle. When he visits next week, Caleb is going to eat his grubby little words and rue the day he told me he didn’t believe I could do this.”
Laughing, Sutton reached out and wrapped her arms around Charlotte’s waist, pulling her back against her as she nuzzled into her neck. Her hair was up, but a few soft strands fell to tickle Sutton’s cheek, and she inhaled a deep breath, taking in Charlotte’s scent.
“I love that competitive edge,” she whispered, pressing a kiss to Charlotte’s soft skin.
Her own words reminded her ofthe plan.